Saturday, October 31, 2009


Why all these pictures....again??

Look at their faces...there are smiles on their faces...

Something done by human, created by God which make a person so lovely, beautiful and unique...

As I was praying for the teachers in Cambodia as they met this morning to discuss the forming of CTCF.... I was led to pray for the Cambodians and the whole land of Cambodia.

As I prayed and thought about how broken and destroyed and affected they are by all those Pol Pot Regime, especially the cries from the killing fields...suddenly, I was reminded by the smiles of Cambodians I saw in picture and in real life.

They are living in a condition where we wouldn't want to be in...but they could still smile despite of everything they do not have....and everything they have to go through and what they had went through....

I am so ashamed....because.....could I still smile if ever I am in such a situation where things are just not right.....when heart is broken.....when poverty strikes me....when everything is only down and down??? Will I still be able to smile???


RCISEN2009 - Part Three

My almost last post on this topic...

Topic : Refining the Concept of Quality Education.

What do we expect to come up on the other side?

Choice : Students who are able to know and received, caring or competitive?

School have to change...

Reminder : We have to value what we measure and not measure what we value!

There shouldn't be pass or fail...all children pass...
E.g. : 50% passing mark....what if the child gets 49%? Does that make him/her a failure?
What is the impact on a child being called a failure?
Think about that....

Question : What is the purpose of examination?

Question : Why do we assess and evaluate?

Policies, practices that leads to exclusion from and within education should be identified and removed.

Advice : Look to opportunities rather than problems!

Without change, we will not succeed.

We will meet obstacles but all needed are determination, hardwork and patience...

It is a process of not only system but of HEART and MIND!


We need to monitor growth in students...

Q&A : What is education? ...not to pass exam...but to develop human in life and after be a good citizen with good values...

Finally.... which I agree 100%....


Friday, October 30, 2009

RCISEN2009 - Part Two


21 days to Cambodia Mission

30 days to Pa Adang Mission

40 days to balik kampung

65 days to new school year

133 days to a change of digits

Mission trips are just round the corner..Oh no! I've yet to come up with my song booklet and teaching materials...err...even ideas...I have none. Ok...maybe I have rough ideas. I will need to get it done the last, next week. I've got to really really really get myself working. I don't want to do things last minute I am again, delaying my work...*smile* but I know, I will get it done sooner or later. Welcome to my world...

Alright...back to RCISEN2009

Dr Levan Lim, The National Institute of Education, Nanyang Technical University, Singapore..

"We exclude because we don't understand.
We don't understand because of limited contact.
We lack contact because we exclude".

Holistic approach...nurturing the whole person & development of qualities...

"Change not only of the mind but also change of HEART!"

PM Lee Hsien Loong.... "Let us shape our future together.....give people 2nd chance... care for each other..."

Prof. Dato' Dr Zalizan Mohd Jelas, Chairman of RCISEN2009...

"Since we can't find who has the power to implement, let's look at the power within us..."

Representative from Bahagian Hal Ehwal dan Pembangunan Pelajar, Kementerian Pengajian Tinggi...

"..We don't stop. We move on, find ways and means...We prepare them to be very effective citizens without feeling the difference..."

"....beat the one step ahead..."

"...adapt, modify and make them suitable for them.."

"..don't expect miracles to happen with birocracy.."

Mr. Terje Magnussonn Watterdal, UNESCO Kabul/IDP Norway...

"Remove the word "special"... all kids are normal and special and have equal values..."

"Purpose of to serve the child or the child serve the school?"

"School ranking should be taken away. You need to mix around in order to live together and to understand each other. We try to squeeze the child to be the same but they are not...First and foremost, children are children....all unique and created by God...for a purpose.."

"Parents...a support, to stimulate and raise child in a proper way"

RCISEN2009 - Part One

That stands for Regional Conference on Inclusion and Special Education Needs 2009, held from 27-28th October 2009 at Hotel Equatorial Bangi.

Global Perspective : Regional Initiatives

It is one of the 1st conference I've ever attended in my whole 6 years of service as a special education teacher and it was all financially self-supported. Thanks to such a "supporting" school I have. Anyway...this is one of the best conference I've ever if I've attended any other.

I've really learned a lot out of this conference which was a pity because the attendance, I consider it as very poor. Most of the participants are mainly UKM students themselves with minority of teachers. Very sad...

Let me share with you a little of what encourages me as an educator, especially as a Christian educator. I will not be sharing much about the details of inclusion and special education needs because .... you might not understand what I am writing about plus there's too much to share here in a blog where people do not have so much time to read. K.I.S.S.

Inclusive education is about reaching the goal of quality education for all and not just going to school.

Create a child-friendly education in school.

Fear ---> RESPECT

Discrimination ---> TOLERENCE

Distrust ---> OPENESS

"...He tells me that if I continue to work hard, I will do well..", said a boy from Pakistan who has to work to support his family and by the time he goes to school, he was already so tired and most of the time did not have the time to do his homework. "He" refers to his teacher who understood his student's situation and rather than scolding him, he encouraged him.
Could we be the teacher who encourage rather than criticize?

"But it is our duty as teachers to prepare children for the world the way it is, not the way we wished it was"

We must be willing to leave our comfort zone in order to achieve a quality education for all.

Now, children learn to pass exam and not to learn life, a productive life to our community.

Measure what we value and not just value what we measure.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Just Thoughts

This is solely just my thoughts and it's stuck in my brain. I tried to get it off but couldn't. So, it decided to blog this thoughts....

Some problems are created....

Some problems are consequences from previous acts, said and done...

Some problems just appear out of no where...

Some problems are just problems and more problems...

Some problems are not even a problem...

Some problems unknown....

So, what's the problem?

The problem is....the soft way just doesn't work but something needs to be done....before it becomes a problem.

The problem....try it again the soft way or do it the hard way?

The hard way....soft way just doesn't work anymore...

Got to get rid of it...

Got to get rid of it...

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Happy Birthday!

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY, all3's Corner!!!

May you be a blessing to others and
do continue to write...and write...and
be the KP..haha...
How could she stop minding her own business...

To God be the glory!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Update on my Countdown..


1/2 day to RCISEN2009

25 days to Cambodia Mission

34 days to Pa Adang Mission

44 days to balik kampung

69 days to new school year

137 days to a change of digits

Life is great. Watching students and people going to work while here I am, resting. Haha... But physically resting...mentally planning for Pa Adang mission trip. 3 half days children's camp is no joke...trying to come up with games and teaching and crafts. I need ideas...and more ideas.

Then leading in all the praise & worship is no joke as well. I have lots of songs they know what I know? If they know Mukjizat Itu Nyata by Franky Sihombing...I am sure they know more of his songs, right? No matter what, I need to learn this song as near perfect as possible. Singing is one thing, playing it is another thing and playing and singing it with them is another another thing...haha. Oh man...I really am depending on God.

Part of a kampung in the middle of the jungle...a valley...

Next, Christmas songs in bahasa...Again, do they know what I know?

Leading in their Sunday worship service??? Boleh kah??? Doubting it but do I have any choice? Well, be more positive...there's always the first time....

Crossing one of the 5 rivers...but this time, it's only 2 rivers...and roughly an hour of jungle trek...
great experience...

Lastly..doing this in the middle of dunno where in the jungle...haha...should be very interesting but I hope we will be rewarded with a wild boar...but I am wishing for more authentic stuff like...monkey? landak?? tenggilling ??? Cool...

Journey back to Lawas town..all 13 in a 4-wheel through the timber road...I wonder how...
This time, it's only 9...thank God...and rain...

Help the Earth, Help Yourself

A group of bikers with their new Yamaha bikes zoomed into this petrol station and had a break. From my view, I could see 4 man talking. Out of a sudden, something just flew up and quickly drop to the ground. Whoa...a packet of cigarette...empty of course...on the ground in a second...out of one of the bikers hand.

See the picture above...the arrow, there's where the packet drop and it remained invisible there as if it is supposed to be there. Two bikers were gone by the time I decided to snap the photo. You should see the way and his expression when he threw the so selamba and cool.

Some human mentality or rather habit just cannot be changed. Why? This world seems to be a dumping ground especially to smokers. Imagine...they are already polluting the air, polluting the lung of themselves and others and now, dirtying the earth with their empty packets and butts thrown everywhere and anywhere.

Look at the picture again. See the black rubbish bin? It is just like 6 steps away. These are the real mental disabled and visual impaired people and physically disabled. Why? They can't think that the rubbish is supposed to end up in the rubbish bin and not on the ground. They can't see that the rubbish bin is just few steps away from them and they "thought" that the ground is the rubbish dump. Lastly, they couldn't walk even a few steps to throw the rubbish in the place where is it intended to be.

What would their generations be like? If the father had shown such an example, why would not the children follow? *I am watching you, dad* Unless the child is smarter than the father. I wish.

Have some pity upon the earth before it's too late and when it's too late, do not is useless and "It is all your own fault. Do not blame God or the Devil". Blame another enemy, YOURSELF.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


This is the best bread I've eaten in my delicious that I could finish the whole loaf of it...

It smells tasted even better....

...But too bad...I couldn't get this in Miri...

...Only available in Penisular....

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

CHECKERS, Damansara Heights


5 days to RCISEN2009

30 days to Cambodia Mission

39 days to Pa Adang Mission

49 days to balik kampung

74 days to new school year

142 days to a change of digits

Arghh!! It's like a month before my trip to Cambodia...I am so stress. I hardly do anything yet except buy plane tickets...and Pa Adang is roughly a month away too....double ARGHH!!

So much to be done.... No more 2 mission trips continuously again for the rest of my life... Would there be more trips like that in store for me??? I's too much and too confusing. Plus it's the end of the school year. Lots to prepare for next school year.

Ok...let's forget about above...for now because I want to share about my trip to KL last weekend....hehe...

Let me share with you my visit to Checkers at Damansara Heights. It's an eating place with no signboard and please do make your booking for this place because space is limited and it's always full especially on weekends. It will not be so wise to try your luck by walking in.

The owner is a simple and funny guy with his funny answers and remarks to almost every prepared for his humour... Dressed in shorts and t-shirt...that's him...

Not the easiest restaurant to find if you are a 1st timer but CHECKERS is well worth scouting out. Head along Jalan Beringin at Damansara Heights, and then look for Lorong Setia Bistari 2 (edited from

I am not so good at remembering the name of some of the just have to go there and try it out yourself.

Stromboli... ham with cheese...cost about RM43.

Same as above but this my own personal piece with sauce.

Lemon juice and Ice Lemon tea....both tasted real original and sour...
simply refreshing... RM5.50 each

Porky Best with papaya's the best...RM45.

Really juicy and well marinated...

Some chicken...with baked banana and salad... RM35.

Cendol Lychee with Rum...this is a must try dessert...
you couldn't resist the smooth taste of rum... RM15.

same as above...

Mud to Cendol above ... RM12.50

water after all the sweet stuff...this is quite tasteless..

Now, let me show you some other food they offer... (that I didn't eat but taken from and

Lord of the Ribs... RM98

Expensive mushroom

Pork Knuckles..I'm gonna try this next time

Galette...something like pizza but thin and crispy...

Rum chendol...look at what people get last time...there's so much...
economy must be really bad these days

Address and contact details:
19, Lorong Setia Bistari 2,
Damansara Heights, 50490 Kuala Lumpur
Tel: +603-2095 3304
Operating Hours: 6pm-10pm, close on Monday

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Transformed by the Mission - Part Two

No countdown for today...too soon...

Let me get straight to the point...I have short-term memory unless it really catches my attention and my heart....

Although I think that the whole activities and ideas by the Northlight is extremely good but I it will never be applicable in Malaysia education know the reasons...$$$ and @.

Anyway, in a more theory form, we can learn a few stuff. Let me share what I've learnt from this seminar...

The heart...that's where everything starts and ends. First, the heart of the teachers. We need to have heart for our students....then it should touches the heart of the students...which then, will pass on to someone else in their lives (and also maybe the lives of teachers).
Just like the speaker, learn to be humble, she is one humble person...err...principle.

The brain...think of ideas to allow them being able to do what they are good at and do not give up when it seems so tough.

The eyes...see the good of our students more, rather than the bad of them. Watch out for students who are in need and do not turn them away.

The mouth...speak words of encouragement that will bring them faraway rather than words of discouragement that will bring them down to the ground.

The hands...reach out to them, help them where it is needed and avoid "lifting up of hands".

The in their shoes and the shoes of their parents and you will know how they feel and be on fire to help them out of their previous situation. Walk to them, rather than wait for them to walk to us...which some might not even do that.

Reward them when they succeed...Encourage them when they are on the way to success...For no one is a failure, just soon-to-be winner.

The rest of what was being shared, I just wish I could implement it $$$...

Computer literacy is great for my students even...but with just one laptop and shared LCD projector. Would it be possible? Yes, definitely... When there's a will, there's always a way.

Bringing them outstation would be so lovely. We did that once upon a time by the Special Olympics but now....hmm.... with lack of $$$....would it be possible? It would be possible if it is somewhere nearby but if we do this, there shall be no other activities for the rest of the year.

Actually, to think about it, we could actually do what they did and are doing but maybe on a smaller scale since we lack of $$$ and support.

Hmm....let's see....and maybe we should try....replan everything based on Malaysia education system and Malaysian's brain and mindset.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Transformed by the Mission - Part One


7 days to RCISEN2009

32 days to Cambodia Mission

41 days to Pa Adang Mission

51 days to balik kampung

76 days to new school year

144 days to a change of digits

I am so thankful and grateful that He actually enabled me to witness with my own eyes His faithfulness in providing people to attend the event. From 15 to roughly 180...a difference of roughly 165... wow! How could I not keep being amazed and praised Him and thanking Him in each of my time? He is just so wonderful.

We prayed for 100...He provided roughly 180.

We prayed for unity among those involved...He gave us unity and ability as well.

We prayed for journey mercy...He gave us just what we asked for including good health and good weather.

We prayed for a smooth running of the whole PA systems...He gave us the best plus good people to handle it and a good DEW crew.

We prayed for an anointing as the speaker speaks....He uses the speaker to touch the hearts of all teachers attended, so that we may touch the hearts of our students.

I am still so amazed by this whole trip. God has been really good. We are so blessed.

Flying with AA is something I dreaded because of delays and the mentally of its passengers but I prepared my mind well to always look at the positive sides of things and told myself, I must enjoy the journey because I am going for this one trip of seeing God's faithfulness.

Indeed my journey was as smooth :) No delays...I got to hop on the bus easily without much waiting....I got to get into the LRT without much hustle. I went to KLCC to pass my time while waiting for my brother to be back and it was indeed good since I've been there since ages ago and all the timing was so perfect.

I finally managed to meet another person that I must meet...Jxx Lxxx. God fulfilled all my wishes of meeting people. I've met all...for now. There shall be more to meet next time....I hope.

Meeting Axxx Mxxxx was indeed good as well because the last I met her was when I was in form 6 if I am not mistaken.

Meeting most of the team that went to last Cambodia trip brings back much memories of Cambodia.

Meeting and celebrating my brother's birthday was a memorable event for me. I cherished that moment...what more getting to eat at Checkers and yeah, of course with serves deliciously good food and desserts.

Getting to meet Axxxxx again strengthen ties between us.

Last but not least, getting to meet ibu and the whole C3 team was just so beautiful with all the simply delicious food Aunty Nxxx cooked. She is just one simply amazing chef. I am simply impressed.

God is just so wonderful....

We prayed so hard for this one event...

Now, it's time to thank Him double hard for all that He had blessed us with...

Remember Him at ALL times....because He is the God of all time and seasons...

To Him be the glory!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

My 1st CRK


1 days to TbtM

11 days to RCISEN2009

36 days to Cambodia Mission

45 days to Pa Adang Mission

55 days to balik kampung

80 days to new school year

148 days to a change of digits

Arghh....!!! Everything is getting closer and closer each day... I am a little nervous since I am taking my treasury post so lightly... I need to be more serious and get to work soon after this weekend.

This is the 1st time in my 6 years of service I am taking cuti rehat khas (CRK)...haha...err... minus the one I took for convocation during my first few weeks in Miri. Actually I don't need to take it but I better take just in case and it's not good to lie. Nanti my whole trip tak berkat. Haha...when I say I will give my full support...I WILL give my full support.

I believe..."When there's a will, there's always a way".

Nothing more to be said for now.

I'm still praying hard for my next CRK which is really really very very important. I will be buying flight ticket by faith. Everything is done for the sake of God...He called...He will have to find a way for me. I am depending fully on Him. Please pray for me.

I believe in the power and wonders of prayer.

God is always good!

To Him be the glory!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

My Thoughts for Today...


2 days to TbtM

12 days to RCISEN2009

37 days to Cambodia Mission

46 days to Pa Adang Mission

56 days to balik kampung

81 days to new school year

149 days to a change of digits

When some things turned out to be right, there are other things that turned out to be not right.

I am thankful for God's continued faithfulness.

I need to learn to be more independent in my daily living especially when I am in KL. It used to be a familiar place to me once upon a time but since I came to Miri, KL is such a foreign place. I used to be able to walk the whole Petaling Street, Pudu, Bukit Bintang, Pasar Seni, Subang Parade and a few other crowded places, but now, ask me how do you get there, I have no idea and I don't even want to go there because there seems to be so many weirdos around.

When I needed someone, everybody seems to be not around but when I was so confident that I could survived on my own, help always comes along. *sigh* So, I better learn to do things on my own without relying too much on others.

Cambodia mission is just 37 days to go, but I have yet to get my ticket to KLIA...arghh.. I actually bought it but this MAS changed their flight to Phnom Penh to the earliest flight and I was supposed to be sitting the 0620 hours flight from Miri to KLIA, which left me roughly an hour before my flight to Phnom Penh. Dangerous...not enough time. So, now I need to buy another ticket which will cost me gold if I were to fly on Friday evening. I'm praying so hard that I would get CRK on the 20th November so that I could fly to KLIA on Thursday evening which cost half of what cost me if I flew on Friday.

Like always, I am a nervous person but I guess this time round, I am quite prepared though I have no clear clue as to what will happen in Cambodia. Thanks to my earlier trip to Cambodia. It is really helping me, giving me the confidance I needed so much because I'll be travelling alone into Phnom Penh. Hmm...

Well, for Pa Adang mission...I am all prepared...emotionally..hehe. I am ready to accept and work on the responsibilities given to me. I still hold on to...if He calls, He will also equip. Another reason, it's not a foreign's just deep in the jungle...that's all, but still in this blessed land of Sarawak.

I am still thinking...when should I move? Where? But my heart is so much in Miri even though I know in reality, I can never be a Sarawakian. 7 years in Miri, I've treated Miri as my home and my students....I really do not know how to depart from them but I know I will not be long in Miri. I need to move. It is time.... but when, where?

Next year....another year of challange. Of fighting for rights...haha... I know it's not good to fight but I will do it if I needed to, for the sake of all my students and future students. As for now, I prefer doing it in a more spiritual way...PRAY. I know God will help. I just wish human are not so selfish and heartless. I don't feel like thinking about next year but I need to. *sigh*

This life is about love and forgiveness...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009



3 days to TbtM

13 days to RCISEN2009

38 days to Cambodia Mission

47 days to Pa Adang Mission

57 days to balik kampung

82 days to new school year

150 days to a change of digits

Let us love above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins...1 Peter 4:8

Nothing speaks more clearly of God's love than the cross of Christ...
30th Sept 2009, ODB.

Love looks beyond what people are to what they can become...26th Sept 2009, ODB.

Sesiapa yang tidak mengasihi orang lain, tidak mengenal Allah kerana Allah itu kasih...1 Yohanes 4:8

Nyadi utai tiga bengkah tu agi mengakang: pengarap, pengadang enggau pengerindu; lalu iya ti pemadu besai nya pengerindu...1 Korint 13:13

Jangan tunda sehingga esok kata-kata kasih yang anda boleh ucapkan hari ini...
21 Jun PH.

May our lives be a testimony of that comes not from the world but love that comes from the God of love. Peace is not what I ask for this world but LOVE of fill each and every soul.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Mission Trips 2009


5 days to TbtM

15 days to RCISEN2009

40 days to Cambodia Mission

49 days to Pa Adang Mission

59 days to balik kampung

84 days to new school year

152 days to a change of digits...

The numbers are getting lesser in value each day. Again, I am nervous ...haha... That's me!

This is totally different from TCF Cambodia mission because there is no such thing as the "young ones" anymore. Nobody to tell us, "Let the old ones do the job". Everyone are treated equal, which means you get the same job/responsibility as everyone else. *heart beating fast* Nervous....

Now, I am beginning to appreciate what the "young ones" get in TCF Cambodia mission. We are allowed to watch more than be in observer of things. Now...there is no such thing...arghh!

I am very thankful to TCF Malaysia for inviting me to join the Cambodia mission because it has given me the opportunity to experience Cambodia before I actually go for the next mission. At least I know what to expect and roughly know a little bit here and there of many things, that I think would be quite useful for me this time round.

This shall be my 1st time joining my church mission trip to Cambodia and I just have a feeling that I shall go for at least one or two more time as long as I am still in Miri. I'm falling in love with Cambodia...I mean I find that we have a responsibility towards this people of Cambodia...or rather I see a need, I go and help, though I might not be very good but well, like what John Piper said, you don't need to be very good, you just need to focus on one thing and be on fire for it. For me, that's the heart for Cambodia...the love of God.

For Cambodia mission trip 2009, I'll be the treasurer and in-charge of social concern. I have no experience in any of these but, I am accepting the post by faith...haha... He call, He shall also motto.

Pa Adang mission 2009 shall be my 2nd trip to this place...another place that I am falling in love with. Lovely place... I am fulling my promise this time round. I said once upon a time that I shall be back into Pa Adang...I must come back one more time. God is so gracious... I am grateful. What more, this shall be the last trip into Pa Adang before the whole place and management is taken over by SIB.

For Pa Adang mission, I shall help out with praise & worship, cooking, children ministry...and dunno what else, forgotten. Hehe... This trip is not much of a problem because they speak bahasa, unlike Cambodia, they speak Khmer, only minority speaks English.

Lots of work to be done...still have stress...haha....just a self-comforting words...

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Don't Waste Your Life


8 days to TbtM

18 days to RCISEN2009

43 days to Cambodia Mission

52 days to Pa Adang Mission

62 days to balik kampung

87 days to new school year

155 days to a change of digits...haha

I'm highlighting a few statements from "don't waste your life" by john piper.


He is most glorified in us when we are most glorified in Him.

Now life could have ultimate meaning - the same meaning God's life has: enjoying and displaying his greatness.

God calls us to pray and think and dream and plan and work not to be made much of, but to make much of Him in every part of our lives.

God-in-Christ is the only true God and the only path to joy.

You don't have to know a lot of things for your life to make a lasting difference in the world... The people that make a durable differences in the world are not the people who have mastered many things, but who have been mastered by one great thing. If you want your life to count, if you want the ripple effect of the pebbles you drop to become waves that reach the ends of the earth and roll on into eternity, you don't need to have a high IQ. You don't have to have good looks or riches or come from a fine family or a fine school. Instead you have to know a few great, majestic, unchanging, obvious, simple, glorious things - or one great all-embracing thing - and be set on fire by them.

Desire that your life count for something great! Long for your life to have eternal significance. Want this! Don't coast through life without a passion.

But whatever you do, find the God-centered, Christ exalting, Bible-saturated passion of your life, and find your way to say it and live for it and die for it. And you will make a difference that lasts. You will not waste your life.

"I will not waste my life! I will finish my course and finish it well. I will display the Gospel of the grace of God in all I do. I will run my race to the end."

One thing matters: Know Christ, and gain Christ. Everything is rubbish in comparison to this.

We magnify God's worth the most when He becomes our only boast.

*I am learning much from this not-so-easy book to read..but by the help of the HS, I suddenly began to understand it...I am most thankful for these words in times of my insanity...I am learning and still learning and will forever be learning till death do me part...hehe...

To God be the glory!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


10 days to Transformed by the Mission

20 days to RCISEN2009

45 days to Cambodia Mission

54 days to Pa Adang Mission

64 days to balik kampung

89 days to new school year

There's not much time left for everything.
Look, it's just roughly 3 months before a new school year starts again...
Time really to fly along...
Next year shall be my 7th year...still a looooonngg way to go.
When shall I move, Lord?

Can I write a little bit about next year? Hmm... Let's see...

Next year, I'll be taking PTK study study...
Next year, shall be the year my age will change it's front digit....old old old... :P opps...older...not so old yet
Next year, shall be the year to face all the challenges in my "mission field"...all over again...may I change my mind set .... got to focus...
Next year, I shall look forward to more mission trips...yay!
Next year, shall be the year of praying real hard....what's next? move or not? MOVE!!! I hope...
Next year....hehe....the unknown...

But one thing remain the same...yesterday, today, forever Jesus is the same...
All may change but Jesus never....Glory to His name!

The call shall be louder...the answer shall be even louder... :)

Last of Every Nonsense

This shall be the last of every nonsense I've come up with.

I've deleted most of the post which I considered as nonsense in the insanity of my mind. What had happened to me, I had no idea. All I know, I need to get out of whatever it is. In that stupid brain of mine, I've hurt people. No good at all. I am sorry... I am very very sorry. Forgive me of my selfishness and insensitivity towards others.

I admitted that I am being very selfish and self-centered and brainless...other word...stupid.

Who cares about who am I? It's all just a question...a question to confuse my mind. A question to help me forget about my root...of where I came from...and of where I'll be going. A question planted in my brain by my enemy...that's me, myself and I...the worst enemy of all.

That's why I need to forgo myself of me, myself and I. The most selfish thing in the whole wide world. It robs the main focus I should be focusing...God...and....His work. There's so much to be done, so little time left.

It is not important anymore of who am I....because all I am is His. He bought me with a price, this I need to remember for the rest of my life....I cost His precious blood. Who else would do what He did for you, I and every human race?

I still want to quote this verse/chorus from "Who Am I" by Casting Crown...

Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done...
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are...
...still You hear me when I'm calling..
...Lord, You catch me when I'm falling..
...and You've told me who I am...
....I am Yours....

If who am I is not important, so, what's important?

It's WHO IS HE?....that's important.

People need to know Him...because He is everything....He is who we belong to...and He is who we will meet at the end of the day.

So, what now?

Answer the call once again....

This shall be my 3rd time publishing the call....

You know...when a subject is repeated many means it is really important...extremely important...

18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying,
“All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.
19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you;
and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:18-20

May what I've deleted be the last of my insanity...of don't know what happened...of accusation... of hurt I've cost others...

May it never return for the rest of my life...

May it crush to ashes and disappear with the wind...

May I learn a lesson and lessons from my own "unknown" issue...

This shall never happen again...I will be quick to run away from it if it ever appear....

To one...I am sorry... I am very very sorry.... I am truly sorry. Please, be what you were before all these insanities...and I'll take it...for sake of not the human race...His people...His Kingdom.

If it shall bring glory unto Him...I'll take it...I'll go through it...I'll change...

For a me...and whoever else....

"As for me, to live is Christ, to die is gain...As in not my will, but Yours be done".

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Just An Update

sunset @ Marina Bay

The 1st coffee that makes me "high" and "red"...
so "high" I could touch the skies...
so "red" I could be mistaken as Char Siu.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Collection...of Torey Hayden

Some collections of Torey Hayden's book.
I've finally finished all the collections I owned
and still in search of 2 more titles.

Great and inspiring book.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Tiger's Child

Before everything else that I'll be writing....let me give some update...

Finally, I've finished reading Tiger's Child. The ending was not very good. Sheila seems to change so easily. Do people actually changed so easily? I doubt it but well, miracles do happen. Anyway, it was a quite happy ending....the book...not the person. I have no idea what happened to her. The wound heals but the scars remained and can never be erased so easily.

the haze is back in Miri...

I was thinking about what people normally say, "Don't live on your past. Let it go...bla bla..". What I realised is your past will actually affect your future one way or another. Let me give one example from the case of Sheila. From the age of six, she had been "serving" men for the sake of paying off her father's debts due to drugs. Till today, she can never develop a relationship with any men due to her experience with men. It is stated that she is roughly 30 something years old now and chose to remain single.

Sometimes, your experience with life will determine who you become, what you become, whether you realised it or not. It will definitely affect you whether you like it or not but well, you can choose to change, provided you are shown where went wrong.

a hazy dark sky

it is back...the heat and the rain