Saturday, January 30, 2010



14 days to CNY

26 days to TCF AGM

41 days to a change of digits

?? days till I meet the person...??

I've listened half of it many times but completed listening to it twice and now I caught it....because the one I needed was only at the end of it.

Driven by purpose....
Sustained by discipline....
Energized by renewal....

The third one was what I needed most at this moment.

Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually energized....equally...

A balanced life!

Easier said than done...

Well, nothing is impossible...

When there's a will, there's always a way...

Prayer will bring us a long way through...

Prayer will make all the difference in the world...

A well balanced life !

Friday, January 29, 2010



15 days to CNY

27 days to TCF AGM

42 days to a change of digits

?? days till I meet the person...??

Tired...simply tired....

Emotionally, physically, mentally...

Signs of getting older... :P

I just found out that you needed to be in the "mood" in order to do shopping...

Like a zombie...walking aimlessly...everything seem to look "grey" (unattractive)...

++++++++++ random ++++++++++

Simply could not get my mind off some people who have the heart to use special students for their own gain or for the gain of "it has nothing to do with us". Simply heartless...may God judge you accordingly....I wish....but nolah, I just hope God will give you a heart, to love and to serve instead of to be loved and to be served.

Tuhan, Allah, God, Yahweh....He is still the GREAT I AM! He remains the same no matter what we address Him. He is still the ALMIGHTY, the RULER of HEAVEN & EARTH, the CREATOR and the MOST GRACIOUS & MERCIFUL!

I realised that no matter how much I try to's Him that I found and it's He that found me.

loneliness....He accompanied.
angry....He calmed.
discourage....He encouraged.
sad....He cheered up.
in need....He provided.
tired....He gave rest.
weak....He strengthened.
lost....He guided to the right path.

....He advised.
....He showed.
....He listened.
....He gave surprises.
....He led.

most of all....He came...He died...He rose...He is seated and He will come again!

What more should I ask?

How could I not appreciate Him?

How could I turn my back towards Him?

....after all He had done for me....and know that He will continue to do for me.

I'm thankful and grateful despite all the tiredness....

Spiritually energized!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Praise Him !

Praise the Lord...

...for He is worthy of all our praises
...for He is the creator of the whole universe
...for He is Lord of Heaven and Earth
...for He is glorious and full of majesty
...for He is the God Almighty
...for His name is exalted over all the nations

....Praise the Lord, O my soul, praise the Lord!

Forgive me for my lack of praise to You...

I've learned something praise Him in all praise Him in the very beginning of our every conversation with Him...

...then...the rest of our prayers will be God centered.

When we acknowledge Him as God, we are allowing Him to take control of everything in our life, everything that surrounds us and seek us.

That's when we will humble ourselves and let Him rise up above all else.

Anger, sadness and disappointment shall reign no longer in our hearts and mind because we know God rules over everything and every situation.

Instead, He shall continue to fill us with love, joy and peace that surpasses all understanding...

...and that's when He shall shame the "strong" and His name be glorified above all.

To Him be the glory!

Hearer vs Doer


20 days to CNY

32 days to TCF AGM

47 days to a change of digits

?? days till I meet the person...??

I'm really disappointed and sad at how some Christian or so-called Christian can actually be so HEARTLESS!

Did not our Lord Jesus teach us to be good and help those marginalised people? I wonder...or maybe He did not....?

How could one say and do such HEARTLESS thing to another who are less fortunate?

Do you think that you and your family will, for the rest of your/their life be in "perfect" shape?

Do you know that maybe one day, you and I might be in that same situation as them?

Do you and I want to wait till that day come before we finally realised our mistake, on how we ill-treated...mistreated..."some people"? By then...maybe 'nasi sudah menjadi bubur', just eat the bubur instead and complain not.

Can you for once be in our in their shoes....their parents' shoes and stop accusing us of "What wrong have we/they done that we/they deserved such treatment?"?

Can you for once hear our plea...not for you to treat them special but to have a HEART?

Can you for once do things for us without any "hidden agenda"?

We are tired emotionally having to bear all the accusation and you trying to make us as if we are a threat to all of you.

You were afraid of them, we helped you out by talking to them and handling them.

You did not have enough and you just took without even asking, and we kept quiet and partly understood your situation.

You did not have enough hands to do certain things and we helped you out without complaining even though we have all the rights not to do what you asked us to do.

When you all have work to be done, you said we are part of you but when you all received "gifts", you said we do not deserved it because we are not part of you.

I prayed with tears....I cried out to God....why are we being treated like "rubbish" by people who claimed to be Your followers...Christian?

"Lord, have mercy on them and give them a HEART for they really do not know what they are doing?"

but another part of me....

"Woe unto you that mistreated them by words and actions!"

When will you realised? When will all this end?

We are tired....emotionally....and physically too by being forced to do things that we are no expert at all.

"Lord, teach us what You want us to learn in situation like this".

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Me Life


18 days since new school year

3 days to WoW

25 days to CNY

37 days to TCF AGM

52 days to a change of digits

Work is starting to get on the move. Let me show you what....

laptop and forms

PMR 2010 colleague and I actually finished doing this stuff since last year since they(LPM) tried introducing online registration but seem like it did not work out at all. Malaysia Boleh! This was the latest news I got online...

"Pra-Pendaftaran UPSR dan PMR 2010 menggunakan Sistem Pendaftaran Online dibatalkan. Pendaftaran UPSR dan PMR 2010 akan dilaksanakan dengan menggunakan Sistem Pendaftaran (offline) seperti tahun-tahun sebelum ini."

I was so frustrated...because it means we need to key in all over again plus a few things to settle since this registration was done last year when the students was still in form 2; but then, not actually that bad.

Bible Knowledge class me a teacher but when it comes to such thing, I am quite nervous without the students actually knowing. I wonder if they know...hmm... BK will start this Friday which I have not prepared anything yet. I'm very undecided as to what I should be teaching them since this is the new batch of form 3 students. Sometimes I think it's easier teaching those taking BK SPM. At least they are more serious about it unlike this bunch of students where I need to prepare something that will keep them interested for 1 and half hour...not easy and I am totally trusting in the Holy Spirit to help me.

Daily teaching plan....all teachers need to do this but this year I am a little bit confused especially having to teach one class where I need to teach them individually since they just can't be taught in group. Tension but still able by His grace. There are 8 in this class and I need to prepare 4 different sets of teaching materials plus teaching 2 person to read. 3 periods just ain't enough at times. for the blind. I thought I would never need to learn this but since having this student whose eyes are getting good as not able to see, I decided to start teaching her Braille before its too late. What's worse is...teaching Braille without any Braille machine or Braille Slate...but writing Braille using pen and normal A4 paper. That was the best I could do for her at the moment till I find at least a slate for myself and her. Until she gets her cane, I'll teach her mobility. So much to do just for one students whose parents refused to send her to school for the blind. Stress and sakit tangan...ouch!
this is the "slate"

Latest news...a new pekeliling...verbally told by a colleague...

"One need to serve with the government at least 8 years before one is eligible to get a free container to transport all our harta benda back to Semenanjung."

I'm not sure about those from other states, but I guess should be the same. Anyway, this year shall be my 7th year. I have one more year to go but come to think about it, God's plan for me had been so perfect and acurate. By the will of God, I should ask for transfer in year 2012.

recently : the gloomy skies in the afternoon

Future is something I do not like to think about but in reality, that's what I thought the most. I just can't imagine myself 10 years down the road....haha...

Banyak hal tak kufahami
Dalam masa menjelang
Tapi t'rang bagiku kini
Tangan Tuhan yang pegang.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Monday, January 18, 2010

He is Faithful


17 days since new school year

4 days to WoW

26 days to CNY

38 days to TCF AGM

53 days to a change of digits

I'm here to fulfill my promise unto Him who always provides and achieving the impossible.

I'm here to 1st and foremost, proclaim His faithfulness, ONCE AGAIN in bringing people to sign up for Wow. I have known this God of the impossible since many years ago where He never ever failed to prove His faithfulness and goodness.

I've prayed for 100, which surprisingly, others were praying for the same number as well and I know He will provide enough people since I've tasted His faithfulness many many many times in my life. I doubted Him no more; plus the latest news I received today, 112 people....what more do I need to say? What doubt should I have on what He can do?

Come on and celebrate His faithfulness!

I dare not laugh like Sarah laugh when God said she will be conceived with a child at an old age. She laughed....and she lied about it, until she was really carrying Isaac in her womb. God will fulfill every promise He has His own time.

Even in the account of Abraham sacrificing Isaac....Abraham told Isaac that God will provide the animal for sacrifice...indeed God provides! Jehovah Jireh!

Doubt Him no more,
for He will provide you more than what you asked for

in His Name...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Ain't Young No More


15 days since new school year

6 days to WoW

28 days to CNY

40 days to TCF AGM

55 days to a change of digits

It has been raining for 2 consecutive days and this morning, the rain stopped but the skies are still gloomy. I bet it will start to rain again in few hours time. My clothes could hardly get dry and everything is so damp here.

It has been very cold especially at night. I had to sleep with long sleeve, socks and gloves...yeah..gloves. The weather here is strange as I guess elsewhere would be almost the same as well. When it is hot, it can very very hot but when it is cold, it can get very very cold.

I realised this morning that I am getting older now. Not older as in 16 going on 17 but older as in reaching a certain age where things are just not like how it used to be. My sleeping hours seems to be fixed. I slept at my usual time last night and expect myself to wake up much later comparing with normal working days but nooo.... I woke up the normal time even without my alarm (again) and simply wide awake. I hate this!! I want to sleep till 10am....11am...but never able to do that since last year.

I wonder what else will be food energy likes and favourite things in life...all will change.

Even so, these things I truly desire changes...

my love for love Him more each day...each second...each minute...each hour

my view of in the present, learning from the past and trusting God for the future.

my fitness...lose more weights and gain more muscles.

my attitude...complain less and pray more.

my character..."Be softer, no need to be so hard."

Back to basic of LIFE...

Our purpose of living is to glorify Him!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

It's Moving...


10 days since new school year

9 days to WoW

31 days to CNY

43 days to TCF AGM

58 days to a change of digits

We, at Pxxxx's birthday dinner @Shabu Shabu

It seems like time has passed by quickly but in reality, it's moving kind of slow. I felt as if I've been in school for ages, only to see, today is only the 13th of January.

School...we are still in the midst of cleaning and arranging our place. Today when my "properties" were dump at my table...Whoa! I realised I have actually accumulated a lot of "stuff" since I arrived this school 6 years ago and that I've been in this school for quite some time. If in 6 years time I collected so much "properties"...what if I were to stay in this school for 20 years??? Hmmm.....I think I need a storeroom just for me and my "properties".

The delicious dipping sauce

Public relation...I still think I need to keep my mouth shut at times because "some people" just do not know how to differentiate between seriousness and jokes or maybe my jokes were too serious? I am a person too difficult to be understood or am I making myself difficult to be understood by others? the end of the day...who cares?! I might be right, you might be wrong; I might be wrong, you might be right; you and I might be both right or you and I might be both wrong.

Some of the food we had... is great by the grace of God BUT I am still missing home very much. After so many years being away from's only now that I truly appreciate home. I couldn't help but realised each day that everyone is getting older in age and soon, they will all be gone from my life BUT one thing for sure, they will never be gone from my heart. I truly appreciate all the people that God brought along the journey of my life on Earth. Good and bad, they were the one God uses to shape my life to what I am today.

The pot with food in hot boiling soup

My see me sing songs of love and gratitude towards His faithfulness and to see them brimming with joy on that day and holding the tiny ones, who calls them.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Now Is The Time...


4 days since new school year

14 days to WoW

36 days to CNY

48 days to TCF AGM

63 days to a change of digits

Now is the time... make our stand. make decision. trust in the Lord. forgive like how our Lord Jesus forgave. put into practice what we had learn from the Bible. know that a church is not a building. know what it means to follow Christ. taste a tiny little bit of end times. continue bringing glory unto His name.'s some more pictures for your viewing...our new place but still not 100% completed. We have yet to arrange many more stuff....and the place still feels like being in an oven.. *sigh*...

But...I am contented. Praise be to Him who provides!

the main entrance...

view from the main entrance

teachers' table..."stuff"room...
how pathetic...we are using students' table as ours...
but...I am still contented...

tell me about teachers' welfare in the school...
we had to find our own tables...
this was all that was left for us...
but...I am still contented...

some view of the teachers' table...
mine is elsewhere but I prefer to sit with them...
one teacher is only given 2 tables...
but...I am still contented..

the classroom...
in front...PKP 1
behind...PKP 2

the classroom...on the other side of the room...
seen above...PKP 4

the classrooms...
in front...PKP 8
behind...PKP 6

view from another entrance...
on the left is 2 toilets cum bathrooms...
on the right is classrooms...
right in




and trust that God will take care of our place from theft...

God is our greatest Provider!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

It All Begins...NOW!


3 days since new school year

15 days to WoW

37 days to CNY

49 days to TCF AGM

64 days to a change of digits

Kuala Belait

The start of this year was great. On 2nd January, Dxxxx and I drove to
Brunei. My 1st trip there since I came here 6 years ago. Though we were quite blur with everything...but we had a great time there. We had a "great" time searching for Escapade Sushi at Kuala Belait which I thought was a small town...haha...indeed it was but we still failed to find the place on our own. Dxxxx had to do the asking job since I was driving...or rather I was not the "asking" type of person. She did a great job.

Accidentally ended up at a beach @ Tutong

There were not many cars at Kuala Belait and also at Bandar Sri Begawan (BSB) because at least more than a kilometre of cars were lining up to enter into Miri. So, I am thankful because we could take a slow drive in the town.

Some of the cars park by the road side...all belong to the Water Village villagers..

Water Village..

Let me share what I was most impressed by Brunei....the pedestrian crossing. What about it? Vehicles would actually stop to let people cross the road. I am most impressed but I was not use to it because in Malaysia, you try crossing the zebra crossing without watching out for vehicles and you'll definitely be curse like mad by the drivers...haha... "Mau mati kah ??!!!!" I actually stopped for the car to go before crossing....people must be wondering, "What's wrong with this lady?"....haha and Dxxxx told me to go, "Just cross, don't need to stop".

School on the right?
We were joking that if there was a spot check done and
students will just throw the hp into the water...

The transport to get to the Water Village...
One can go there for sightseeing as well...

Conclusion...Escapade Sushi Kuala Belait does not serve the best sushi because everything in Brunei is halal. You know what needed in the recipe for making sushi and a few other Japanese food...hmm...

sushi from Escapade Sushi...halal...

we had too much of sashimi

Conclusion...Brunei is definitely a quiet town and people just had not many places to go plus things there are expensive in comparison with Miri. I'm glad to be living in Miri instead of Brunei.
outside a shopping mall was a great trip and I will definitely make a few more trips there. Let's go!

Conclusion...I thank God for such a wonderful time we had in Brunei, the smooth journey, the beautiful weather, the fellowship... thank you, Lord!

Sunset @ Tutong Beach


School...was great. I am so so so so thankful and grateful to God for answering all my prayers. He has indeed shown me once again His faithfulness and I am looking forward to more of His blessing upon our Special Education Program and also in being a useful vessel for Him.

Old classroom...we were in the process of clearing the place..

Even though we did not get everything we ought to receive, many people were envious of us, saying many ugly things about us without 1st checking things out....I am still very thankful to God and the rest....let God be the judge of it all. None of my business and I'm tired of listening to people talking craps.

Old classroom...all almost gone...just a few more stuff...

I was worried towards the year end as to where we should put our kids and teachers when all the numbers are shooting up...12 teachers and 70+ students. How are we able to cramp everyone inside 5 small tiny classrooms and it's going to be a one session school??? Arghh!!!

Old kitchen in the classroom...

Finally, God answered and put away all our worries. He provided us with a bigger rooms...2 lab combined into one with extension....thank you, Lord!

WELCOME to our new place...
this is the extended part..
fans and some lights were sponsored by a student's dad...tq
partly completed....still more to be done..

Now...what's the challenge? Incomplete plan of the whole place. No sink, no grille, no tables, no chairs, only 4 ceiling fans for the whole place, no socket at the extension side, no partition, no whiteboard....WHY? I'm not saying anything here...let God be the judge of it all as to why there weren't enough money when in should be more than enough.

Part of the classrooms...huge place....
the whole place we could divide into 8 classes with lots of space..

Conclusion...God is our great provider. He will provide even though human *think* they can outsmart God.

another part of the classrooms...
we only had one standing fan for each class...'s oven in here...

Conclusion...thank you, Lord for giving us when we have none. Thank you, Lord for uniting us together when the "dark side" tried to completely break us away. Thank you, Lord for never forsaking our students and us, Special Education teachers....the "unwanted" ones...the "despised" ones...unto the world BUT....the "treasured" ones...the "beloved" ones...unto You, the God of Heaven and Earth.

May we give You all the glory!

*more pictures to come...wait...

Friday, January 1, 2010

Welcome to Year 2010!

Blessed New Year everyone!

It was a great year last year and this year shall be even greater...and all the glory shall be given unto Him...the Giver of all...

Pastor Connie's sermon at watch night service taken from Rev 2:4-5

"Yet I hold this against you; You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place."

I am always reminded of
"Serve God and not serve the ministry"

"God does not just want your work, He wants your love for Him"

I've got to contanstly remind myself of where I was before and how God brought me out into where I am now....I am humbled and grateful...and repent of my pride.

I forgot to share about how much I achieved my 2009 resolution...

2009 Resolution.

1. Mission trip to Pa Adang...organised by GMC
- mission accomplished
2. Mission trip to Ulu least one
- mission not accomplished
3. Mission trip to Cambodia...if it does not clash with Pa Adang trip
- mission accomplished
4. Finish studying the book of Luke & be ready for teaching BK if I had to one day
- I finally get to teach BK but to form 3 students who are not taking exam...and mission not accomplish...I did not finish reading, what more studying those 2 books.
5. Compiling biography of my students...personal purpose - mission not accomplish...too much things to do
6. Write at least 4 useful article in my blog
- I guess...errr...mission accomplished more than I should
7. Be more faithful in my ministry...GB, Sek.Minggu.. (how do you actually know whether achieve or not?)
- partly accomplish...still not fully into it...
8. Full fast during the lent and also the NECF fasting program....40 days each - mission not accomplish...lasted I think like a week?

So, what's for this year? Hehe...let's see

2010 Resolution

1. Mission trip to Cambodia
2. Mission trip to Belaga/Kapit/Balingian/Baa Adang
3. Finish reading the whole Bible
4. Faithfully doing my devotion time...not more than 1 month of missing in no action
5. Pray everyday with no exception of missing even a day
6. Fast at least the total of 2 months
7. Buy house...haha
8. Take bike licence
9. Be softer, practice gentleness, control anger,
practice humility and humbleness, be an optimist
10. Exercise everyday...with not more than a month of skipping...oklah...simple word...lose least 5 kgs. least for now...and these are just a bit here and there but there's so much that I want to do this year...hehe...ok ok...wrong statement...the "I" should not be there..

Must remember....this life belongs to Him...He is the one that will do what He wants to be done...

Less of me and more of Him...

To Him be the glory!