Since "that day", I've not been in the mood of blogging but somehow I need to keep my blog alive, whether anyone is reading it or not. It's been an emotional time for me, so, inactive is my blog and active is my diary but happy are those who find my diary if I die one day and burnt with me the "memories" of mine if no one finds it.
Ok..back to unemotional stuff. Since I've mentioned it in my previous post about Full Glass. Let me give some little, short explanation about it. Might be from Dr. Low, might be from myself, I am not sure because, that's me. I tend to get the main point and create the rest of it myself. My brain works harder when listening to people talk because I need to get the main point and process the meaning of it based on my own understanding. Does not mean that I am not listening to you. Yes, I am listening but I need to simplify it according to my own understanding and standard.
The above is known as "mengarut". Now, back and back again to the main stuff.
Begin each day with full glass means before you start your day...basically in school or whatever your work, do something that you like or that will motivate you e.g. pray, quiet time, drink a cup of coffee, exercise, hot bath etc. Do not wake up, take your bath, brush your teeth and drag yourself to school and arrived school with a *sigh* and grumpy/sour face.
I used to drag myself to school and when I entered my school, it's like entering hell. The worst of life shall begin now...no smile...thumb print my attendance with the stupid computerized "Thank you" and with some colleagues getting the stupid "Please try again". Walked out the staff room as fast as I could because I hated my school especially the office area and the staff room. Walked as fast as I could to get to my special education room and behold, "peace" for the rest of the day in school.
Then, I started changing because God reminded me of His purpose for me.
This is not "hell", this is where I sent you for the purpose of mission. This is your mission field. Mission field is a challenging place with many challenging people to face each day. Nobody said it's going to be easy but I will be with you. Fear not! I am in control of everything.
Everything changed.
School became more challenging, but He gave me the wisdom to see things differently. This is His school or rather this is still His choice of school for me. Not easy but not impossible as well.
People became more challenging, but He reminded me that He loves this people as much as He oves me. Just ignore them of what they say and do, as long as you know what you do is right in His sight and don't forget to pray for them. The more you hated them, the more you need to pray for them.
My prayer changed as well. I used to pray that God will change the heart of other people, but now, change my heart that I will have a heart. So that, I will learn to be patience, humble, to have humility and see the good in people rather than the worse in people. I learned to pray more positively and I learned to pray for students, teachers and most of all, the management of the school. It is not them, but rather the work of the evil, trying to confuse human's mind.
Every morning, I thank God that I have a place to work and serve Him and I am thankful that He is making use of me rather than me being a useless person to God, how sad.
I put a smile on my face, not by force but because He gave me joy in my heart, knowing that He is with me as I serve Him in this school. Apart from everything that is not so nice in school, I still have some beautiful and lovely colleagues, my cute, stubburn and testing my patience's students and most of all, the gift of Holy Spirit.
I look forward to teach Bible Knowledge every Friday. Ok, about this Bible Knowlegde thing. It shall be another story in my next post. I'm loving it each day. I can see how the Holy Spirit works here. It's wonderful for me, for the students (I hope). If not, saya yang syok sendiri.
So, by changing myself, I am starting to start my day with my glass FULL...and so that my students shall be FULL at the end of the day too. This is call...PASS IT ON!!
Thanks Angela for helping me keep my blog alive...I was very much thinking of burying my blog. Ok, maybe not forever but until I have the mood again...which I do not know how long. Months...years...decades...???
Today mark the 6th year I am living in this place called Miri.
That's Stitch...my cute creature.
