Fly Away

Countdown...

13 days to Cambodia Mission

22 days to Pa Adang Mission

32 days to balik kampung

57 days to new school year

125 days to a change of digits

Everything is getting closer and the nervous feeling is increasing too. Sadly, preparation is not increasing, still waiting for my next instruction. Anyway, it shall be done sooner or later, even if it means burning midnight oil.

Yesterday, everyone was so anxious to find out whether they will get their transfer or not. I was anxious as well even though I know I will not be getting my transfer....because....I never asked for it...lol. I was just being busybody for my friends. It's sad to see friends go and we still stay, only to make new friends. Finally, after an anxious morning where the server was down, everyone got their unofficial answers to their waiting. Some were happy to get it and some were very sad not getting it. I could feel their joy and I could feel their sadness. These are all parts and parcels of life.

I am still dreaming and thinking of the day when it shall be my turn to fill in the application form. I believed God had answered my prayers on how many more years I should remain here. Could I survive that period of time? Well, do I have any choice than to TRUST & OBEY? I wonder where's next He wants me to go....very anxious to know but hmm...this Father of mine will never tell me things, always asking me to "Wait... Be patient... I will show when the time is nearer... Just trust Me... etc... ".

hold on unto our Father's hand and never let it go

I am so priviledge to have such a close relationship with my Father. People laughed at me when I tell them, "God told me....God said... God didn't say anything yet.. etc". They just could not believe than men and God can have a really really close relationship. I have no explanation to them who laughed at me. To believe it or not, it's not my choice and definitely I can't force anyone to believe me. All I know, God spoke to me just like a Father and daughter except, ok...not in voices....but in my brain.

hands of our Father always holding us as we walk this route of life

When I 1st had that type of someone telling me stuff in my brain, I doubted it myself because well, the Satan could play tricks on me too and maybe it's just my own thinking. I doubted it no more when after a few times, what was told to me came through. So, how do I know who's "voices" is it? This is not easy...sometimes it is my own thinking, sometimes it's the enemy and sometimes it is God. That's when discernment comes in. As time goes by, by experience and building an intimate relationship with Father, you will know because you will always be in tune with Him. You will know His way of thinking and ... you experience it yourself... I have no detail explanation for it.

Our Father is such a wonderful Father if you really know Him. He's the best I had in my life. Human can fail us but He never. It's us who failed Him and yet, did He turn His face away from us? NO! He is so patient enough to layan our kerenah and always wanting the best for us, His children. How His heart longs for all His children to know Him and to come back to Him. Get to know His heart and you will never ever live one day for yourself again but YOU WILL LIVE EVERYDAY FOR HIM and you will go all the way out to reach out to as many as you can, whatever way He asked you. Your life will never be the same anymore.

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good... before you decide to reject Him"

*There's only one thing I wish I could do...hug Him...will I ever have that chance?