17 days to Cambodia Mission
26 days to Pa Adang Mission
36 days to balik kampung
61 days to new school year
129 days to a change of digits
I just could not imagine myself in missions...again...after such a long break from it. I am back to being nervous. I am still wondering what do I actually do there in Cambodia. I do have my responsibilities but it's so stress when you have to fully depend on God on what you need to do there. You just can't do any planning at all.
Many questions in my mind especially on Cambodia medical mission...
Will I go through the immigration safely?
Will the stuff I bring be confiscated?
Will I be able to handle the $?
Will I know when to do what I need to do?
Will I be so blur as to what should I be doing?
Well, I know in the end of the day, praying is the most I will be doing especially before I go there. Like I've said, I just need to depend fully on God and Holy Spirit. He had guided me through, and I'm sure He will do it again....and again. Hmm...TRUST & OBEY!
Pa Adang mission? I have roughly about 2 weeks and I have yet to come up with teaching ideas. HELP!!! I am still in the process of finalizing the song book. Still need to find chords for some songs.
So, with so much work to be done, what am I doing here, blogging? Haha... This is one of the places to release stress...by writing almost whatever that is in my mind, for the world to read. Who would REALLY read what I write anyway? Blogging...a waste of time? Maybe for some but NOT to me...I just love blogging as much as I love writing in my diary but diary is more personal...writing EVERYTHING in my brain and heart, only to be released when I die. x_x
Since I'm already here and not many people would love to read long blog. I'll write it...
Guess what I've found out today? I am shocked that I was actually in it once upon a time and now, sometimes it happens. I should have dealt with it long long time ago. I should have seek counsel. I should have seriously seek God and not made another mess out of the mess which was already there. I never know the consequences will last a lifetime. Why do I become what I am? Why so self protective? Why so....bla..bla..bla...
Sometimes I have no idea what is happening to myself. Why do I react what I reacted? Why do I say what I've said? Why do I do what I did? Why my mood is worse than a yo-yo? Hmm...
It's all because of what I've found out today...hmm....
But I thought I've dealt with it? Have I? Is this the work of the enemy, trying to confuse me?
But I do believe one way or another....certain things just can't be erased so easily and the consequences of the past will be there. It will take time to deal with it. But....hmmm....*thinking hard*
If one person take 8 years to fully forgive another person...how many years do you think he/she would take to forgive himself/herself?
There will come a stage where a person cried too much that he/she doesn't have any more tears. Ok, maybe a little bit. So, how to "pour" it out? Haha....energy...use up all the energy...exercise vigorously...run all you can....do whatever that will use up your energy and strength. The best of all....kick boxing. These are all to release all that is kept inside....
Many questions in my mind especially on Cambodia medical mission...
Will I go through the immigration safely?
Will the stuff I bring be confiscated?
Will I be able to handle the $?
Will I know when to do what I need to do?
Will I be so blur as to what should I be doing?
Well, I know in the end of the day, praying is the most I will be doing especially before I go there. Like I've said, I just need to depend fully on God and Holy Spirit. He had guided me through, and I'm sure He will do it again....and again. Hmm...TRUST & OBEY!
Pa Adang mission? I have roughly about 2 weeks and I have yet to come up with teaching ideas. HELP!!! I am still in the process of finalizing the song book. Still need to find chords for some songs.
So, with so much work to be done, what am I doing here, blogging? Haha... This is one of the places to release stress...by writing almost whatever that is in my mind, for the world to read. Who would REALLY read what I write anyway? Blogging...a waste of time? Maybe for some but NOT to me...I just love blogging as much as I love writing in my diary but diary is more personal...writing EVERYTHING in my brain and heart, only to be released when I die. x_x
Since I'm already here and not many people would love to read long blog. I'll write it...
Guess what I've found out today? I am shocked that I was actually in it once upon a time and now, sometimes it happens. I should have dealt with it long long time ago. I should have seek counsel. I should have seriously seek God and not made another mess out of the mess which was already there. I never know the consequences will last a lifetime. Why do I become what I am? Why so self protective? Why so....bla..bla..bla...
Sometimes I have no idea what is happening to myself. Why do I react what I reacted? Why do I say what I've said? Why do I do what I did? Why my mood is worse than a yo-yo? Hmm...
It's all because of what I've found out today...hmm....
But I thought I've dealt with it? Have I? Is this the work of the enemy, trying to confuse me?
But I do believe one way or another....certain things just can't be erased so easily and the consequences of the past will be there. It will take time to deal with it. But....hmmm....*thinking hard*
If one person take 8 years to fully forgive another person...how many years do you think he/she would take to forgive himself/herself?
There will come a stage where a person cried too much that he/she doesn't have any more tears. Ok, maybe a little bit. So, how to "pour" it out? Haha....energy...use up all the energy...exercise vigorously...run all you can....do whatever that will use up your energy and strength. The best of all....kick boxing. These are all to release all that is kept inside....
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