Thou Shall Speak!

In the midst of it all
Trying so hard to be positive
Putting up a high spirit
Trying so hard to learn
With all the ability given me
I thought He called
He will also equipped
I believe so strongly
Living up to it so confidently.

Then not long
All came crushing down
With words unheard
But voices so loud and clear
"What are you doing here?"
Was all my heart hears
Though it was not spoken
But the meaning I caught it.

Shocked!
My spirit was crushed
My heart was broken
My mind went spinning
To speak or not to speak
Silence was my choice
Because I know He knows
I did this all for His sake.

Then He reminded
I will always be with you
Never will I leave you
Nor forsake you
Lift your spirit up
For you have few days to go
He is my strength
He is my provider.

I learn
Word hurts
How you say it
Hurts even more
Because I am also human
With feelings
Just like you
If you have forgotten.

My Weekend

My journey began on Friday, 15th June 2012 and here lies my memories and reflections and etc.

Flight cancelled.
It was the longest journey for me in order to reach Sibu... approximately 10 hours...travelling from north to south and finally to Sibu. I finally got it and felt that God is really so real. I was actually very nervous about the whole conference thing but by the time I reached Sibu at 11pm with all the waiting and tiredness and sleepiness...I've forgotten about being nervous and too tired to think anymore. I was more concerned that I arrive Sibu. Haha....my oh my...this is how God works.

TCF Sarawak Annual Conference.

Dr Tan Ming Tang : My 1st morning at the conference, God was already teaching me. My lesson, it's all about the willingness of my heart...He will take care of all the rest. It's not so much of what I am good at but it's more of He will use me with everything that I have...even the smallest thing. He can do wondrous with the little I have. So, "Here I am, Lord!".

Somebody : Look beyond the students...there may lies many unknown stuff in them. Learn to give...a little will bring them far into life.

Dr Tan Buck Chye : Mind-mapping!!! The best of all. God gave me this just in time for me to prepare my sharing...and maybe many other sharings or maybe talks!! Hahaha....the coolest of all....

Photography : I think my skills has improved...haha... I think lah.

Friends : I met so many people and Jennifer Chew's advice was the best....start making friends by SMILING!! So simple and so effective. Apart from all, I got to meet Pearly, Elaine and Siew Ping...just like old old time when all of us were in Miri. I miss those days. *sigh*

My memory is bad. I can't remember what I've learnt d...NOOO!!!

I better start practicing my mind-mapping before all gone.

6 Months

6 months had passed.

The days are drawing closer.

Hearts are pounding, minds are swirling.

Life is still good, in fact, too good.

My 1st SU camp as a volunteer. 

The best that happened during this holiday.

The kids scared me off on first day.

Then I fell in love with them.

Faces so cute, physically so active.

Stories after stories they would tell.

Their life in this decade is definitely not an easy one.

I do miss them especially my group, Caleb.

You are the best, though always disappearing.

It's so good to be back!

God has been really good to me.

Since the day He promised.

He'll bless me more than I can ever imagined.

If I would let go.

I did.

It wasn't easy but I did.

Because I wanted to change.

Whenever He took one away, He gave new one.

It has been happening.

I'm forever grateful.

For two special people.

He brought into my life.

The least expected of all.

The one I could share.

My deepest secret of all.

My deepest sorrow.

In hope to share the joy that I am living now.

What else could I ask for?

You gave me the best.

6 more months to go.

I'm excited, I'm anxious.

I'm waiting, I'm hoping.

For the many things that will be happening.

In this life He gave me. 

All for His glory!

90/10 Principle

Discover the 90/10 Principle: It will change your life. The 90/10 principle is incredible!

What is this principle?

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%!

How?

By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react!

Let's use an example. You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will determined by how you react.

You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize them for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school.

She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D. You had no control over what happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive. Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it!

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use your "worrying" energy and time finding another job.

The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

When the cardiologist tells you that there's nothing they can do for your heart condition. Instead of feeling depressed why not just lift up your heart to the Lord and say, "Lord, now my faulty heart is in Your hand".

Now you know the 90/10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. I have tried it and it had worked wonders for me. Why not give it a try?

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Of Khmer Vowels and Consonants...

Hi! I'm back! My old lappy "kong".... now with Toshiba...hehe

Fascinated by Josephine and all the rest who were able to learn new language in 3 months... I was wondering if I am able to at least get somewhere to learning new language in 8 months??? Haha.

I may achieve it, I may not....but this is really fun.

But .... whoa .... Khmer is not an easy language to learn. Let me begin my story...

I started out learning numbers in Khmer which of course I had more fun writing it than actually memorizing it.

My 1st time writing in Khmer...this is just numbers....e.g. 1, 2, 3 etc...

Then I was thinking...why not I try learning their ABC.... I found out they have 23 vowels. Wow! And everything sounded the same!!! No!!!

My 2nd attempt writing their vowels because I found that my handwriting was horrible.

I was so excited writing, I went into writing out their consonants which consist 33 of them and lo and behold, it was even worse than the vowels, it sounded all alike, I could not differentiate them.

Some of the consonants...

After the consonants, I found out this below....I can't remember what is it called but in Khmer it is called [jerng]. Another thing to memorize. Sharks!

The [jerng]... the extra tiny and not so tiny writing...

Before I completed my numbers and vowels and consonants, I went straight into word, which was my mistake but I just love writing it...hehe...

Vowels and consonants and [jerng] formed words!!! Haha...so happy...!!

After everything, I found out that I was really too fast. I slowed down, memorized all the vowels and get all the pronunciation correct before I move to consonants.

Now, after all the confusion on the consonants, I learned that it is easier for me to group it up like below. Now, it's a little easier for me to remember, because it has some similarity.

I wrote again all the consonants because I forgot to bring my book.

My writing gets better, right? Haha...

Now, I'm trying to memorize this 15 consonants. Sure not easy for me who has attention span of not more than 10 minutes...haha...

Apart from all these writings and learning vowels and consonants, I need to learn how to learm "nih yey khmer" (to speak khmer). In the situation now, speaking is better for me than reading.

Will I succeed? Hahaha...I am not sure myself....but I am enjoying every moment. I have roughly 8 months to go. So, chia yiu..gambateh...go go go!!!

Lea Sen Hai 2011

I'm back at the end of 2011.

In one word, with all my limited vocabulary, P.R.I.V.I.L.E.G.E.

It was a privilege to be able to be at TCF Jubilee Conference 2011. My 1st TCF conference was in KT when I was in my form 6. So, this is my 1st as a teacher.

It was a privilege to be in TCF exco and I still wonder, "Who am I that I should be in this exco?", and at the end of 2011, "What have I contribute as an exco?". Nothing much but do my presence count? hehe. This is something that never was on my mind.

It was a privilege to be able to in Kampuchea, TWICE!!! Kampuchea is very close to my heart. Though at times I still feel like an alien in that land but another part of me felt so at home...so familiar. Simply so happy each time I'm back there.

It was a privilege to be able to be the proud owner of D7000! ...and I am truly my dad's daughter, when I realised that it was his hobby too once upon a time. A very expensive hobby.

It was a privilege to be able to finally step my feet in Bario and breathe the fresh and cool air. It was truly a dream come true. I'm so glad and looking forward to go there again one day.

It was a privilege to witness TCF 50th Anniversary Celebration at DUMC and to be an unofficial photographer there. So panicky but yet it was such a happy challenge. I enjoyed every moment.

It was a privilege to represent the 5th decade during the launching of the Time Capsule that will be opened on TCF 60th Anniversary. God is simply so good.

It was a privilege to share my Teaching As A Vocation during the SU National Leadership Camp, but I sucks there. Too panic and I am really a NO NO speaker.

It was a privilege to attend MCT Retreat...even though just for a while...worth it. Got to see more, hear more, learm more.

It was a privilege to be the owner of one unit in Subang Perdana Goodyear Court 8. No castle, but it's a blessing from Above.

It was a privilege to be scolded...that I might practice patience and know that each human think differently. What we think is OK might not be OK for others.

It was a privilege to be given good health because many out there are suffering from sickness...and I can't do anything to take away their misery and pain, simply to PRAY!

It was a privilege to have friends...near and far...good and bad...all for us to learn to love each other, for God is love!

It was a privilege to still have people I can call F.A.M.I.L.Y. They are always the one I take for granted, but in the end of the day, they are the one that will stay by your side when all have gone.

Frankly, I did not achieve much in my resolution but God achieved much more in me.

I am not perfect, but always made perfect by Him.

I am still thankful for my life today and I still owe it unto Him who gave me His all.

Thank You, Father for 2011.

Goodbye 2011!

A Place Called Bario!

It was a dream come true...

Finally, I'm up in Bario....though it was only for the weekend plus our flight was delayed. We only had exactly 24 hours in Bario due to the delay, but God was very good.

It has been raining daily in Miri and when the day finally arrived, we were afraid that our flight might be cancelled or we might not be able to come back on Sunday itself back to Miri.

But we got to Bario safely with a nice, cool and lovely skies, not sunny, and yet not gloomy. It was just perfect.

As we reached the arrival hall at the airport, Mr Harriss picked us up and we had a great ride back to Nancy & Harriss Homestay.

With a hungry and grumpy stomach, I waited impatiently for Aunty Nancy to get lunch ready. When food was served, "Wow!"...it was such a sumptuous meal. I had 3 servings of delicious and smooth texture Bario rice. Aunty Nancy is a great cook.

After lunch, we were off exploring Bario. I had 2 mission to accomplish: to meet up with Seluma and to get the wooden board. Only one accomplished, met up with Seluma and gave her some stuff for her Penan kids.

We walked all the way to e Bario and back to Bario Asal, took lots of photo along the way. I am so amazed with Bario. Never thought of it as a more than lovely place with more than lovely and friendly folks. It's always so good to get away from the bustling city with 1001 pollution.

We went back to our homestay at almost 6pm if I am not mistaken. Sorry, I have not been wearing watches, so I have no idea what was the time. All I know, we got back, in time to have our cold cold bath and in time for dinner.

Oh yes....I will never forget this. Y2K mini market, don't ever want to go there again. So super unfriendly among the friendly folks of Bario. We were customers and she can make such a sour face and I consider rude for their well-known gentle attitude. So, make me wonder if she is Kelabits or even the locals of Bario.

Dinner was super great too. The weather was getting colder. We had a wonderful fellowship in the living room among us. My head was throbbing but it was too good to take medicine and sleep at such an early hour in Bario. So, we ate and talked, some were busy taking photos and all.

We finally slept at I have no idea again what was the time. We slept. It was cold but I felt a little stuffy because all the windows and the door was closed. Actually, I was so tempted to sleep at the living room but eventually, I slept after popping in 2 panadol soluble.

We woke up to a beautiful misty morning. I had my cold cold cold bath and actually enjoyed it very much. The water was so cold it felt like bathing ice water. Quickly packed my stuff, took my book and my tablet, opened the door and sat at the veranda.

I realised I woke up too late to enjoy the morning alone. Everyone was awake after I was outside. Haha...so, again, it was a fellowship time.

When I went to the kitchen, I was glad and surprised to see Mr Harriss was getting ready to cook breakfast for us. Again, I saw pineapple!! Haha...every meal we will have pineapple.

Breakfast was cooked by Mr Harriss and boy, Mr Harriss is a good cook as well...surprised, surprised! It was our last meal at Bario. I had mixed feeling that morning, knowing I will be leaving Bario soon.

I did not want to leave Bario but I had to. After breakfast, both, Mr & Mrs Harriss brought us to their pineapple plantation by their Hilux. Another great journey. So lovely I have not enough vocabulary to describe them. On the way there, with the condition of the road and when I saw a man made bridge using logs, it brought me back to Pa Adang. I miss Pa Adang very much too, but sad I could not go this time.

Then, we were very quiet when we were on our way to the airport...if not them, me. I really wish I could stay a little longer in Bario. I miss Bario, I miss the homestay, I miss the food, I miss the fellowship we had among us and with Aunty Nancy. I miss the people there.

It was goodbye...but it will not be the first and the last. I will be back in Bario!!!