all3's Corner of Life

Lea Sen Hai 2011

2011-12-31T22:22:00.000+08:00

I'm back at the end of 2011.

In one word, with all my limited vocabulary, P.R.I.V.I.L.E.G.E.

It was a privilege to be able to be at TCF Jubilee Conference 2011. My 1st TCF conference was in KT when I was in my form 6. So, this is my 1st as a teacher.

It was a privilege to be in TCF exco and I still wonder, "Who am I that I should be in this exco?", and at the end of 2011, "What have I contribute as an exco?". Nothing much but do my presence count? hehe. This is something that never was on my mind.

It was a privilege to be able to in Kampuchea, TWICE!!! Kampuchea is very close to my heart. Though at times I still feel like an alien in that land but another part of me felt so at home...so familiar. Simply so happy each time I'm back there.

It was a privilege to be able to be the proud owner of D7000! ...and I am truly my dad's daughter, when I realised that it was his hobby too once upon a time. A very expensive hobby.

It was a privilege to be able to finally step my feet in Bario and breathe the fresh and cool air. It was truly a dream come true. I'm so glad and looking forward to go there again one day.

It was a privilege to witness TCF 50th Anniversary Celebration at DUMC and to be an unofficial photographer there. So panicky but yet it was such a happy challenge. I enjoyed every moment.

It was a privilege to represent the 5th decade during the launching of the Time Capsule that will be opened on TCF 60th Anniversary. God is simply so good.

It was a privilege to share my Teaching As A Vocation during the SU National Leadership Camp, but I sucks there. Too panic and I am really a NO NO speaker.

It was a privilege to attend MCT Retreat...even though just for a while...worth it. Got to see more, hear more, learm more.

It was a privilege to be the owner of one unit in Subang Perdana Goodyear Court 8. No castle, but it's a blessing from Above.

It was a privilege to be scolded...that I might practice patience and know that each human think differently. What we think is OK might not be OK for others.

It was a privilege to be given good health because many out there are suffering from sickness...and I can't do anything to take away their misery and pain, simply to PRAY!

It was a privilege to have friends...near and far...good and bad...all for us to learn to love each other, for God is love!

It was a privilege to still have people I can call F.A.M.I.L.Y. They are always the one I take for granted, but in the end of the day, they are the one that will stay by your side when all have gone.

Frankly, I did not achieve much in my resolution but God achieved much more in me.

I am not perfect, but always made perfect by Him.

I am still thankful for my life today and I still owe it unto Him who gave me His all.

Thank You, Father for 2011.

Goodbye 2011!

A Place Called Bario!

2011-09-26T18:58:00.012+08:00

It was a dream come true...

Finally, I'm up in Bario....though it was only for the weekend plus our flight was delayed. We only had exactly 24 hours in Bario due to the delay, but God was very good.

It has been raining daily in Miri and when the day finally arrived, we were afraid that our flight might be cancelled or we might not be able to come back on Sunday itself back to Miri.

But we got to Bario safely with a nice, cool and lovely skies, not sunny, and yet not gloomy. It was just perfect.

As we reached the arrival hall at the airport, Mr Harriss picked us up and we had a great ride back to Nancy & Harriss Homestay.

With a hungry and grumpy stomach, I waited impatiently for Aunty Nancy to get lunch ready. When food was served, "Wow!"...it was such a sumptuous meal. I had 3 servings of delicious and smooth texture Bario rice. Aunty Nancy is a great cook.

After lunch, we were off exploring Bario. I had 2 mission to accomplish: to meet up with Seluma and to get the wooden board. Only one accomplished, met up with Seluma and gave her some stuff for her Penan kids.

We walked all the way to e Bario and back to Bario Asal, took lots of photo along the way. I am so amazed with Bario. Never thought of it as a more than lovely place with more than lovely and friendly folks. It's always so good to get away from the bustling city with 1001 pollution.

We went back to our homestay at almost 6pm if I am not mistaken. Sorry, I have not been wearing watches, so I have no idea what was the time. All I know, we got back, in time to have our cold cold bath and in time for dinner.

Oh yes....I will never forget this. Y2K mini market, don't ever want to go there again. So super unfriendly among the friendly folks of Bario. We were customers and she can make such a sour face and I consider rude for their well-known gentle attitude. So, make me wonder if she is Kelabits or even the locals of Bario.

Dinner was super great too. The weather was getting colder. We had a wonderful fellowship in the living room among us. My head was throbbing but it was too good to take medicine and sleep at such an early hour in Bario. So, we ate and talked, some were busy taking photos and all.

We finally slept at I have no idea again what was the time. We slept. It was cold but I felt a little stuffy because all the windows and the door was closed. Actually, I was so tempted to sleep at the living room but eventually, I slept after popping in 2 panadol soluble.

We woke up to a beautiful misty morning. I had my cold cold cold bath and actually enjoyed it very much. The water was so cold it felt like bathing ice water. Quickly packed my stuff, took my book and my tablet, opened the door and sat at the veranda.

I realised I woke up too late to enjoy the morning alone. Everyone was awake after I was outside. Haha...so, again, it was a fellowship time.

When I went to the kitchen, I was glad and surprised to see Mr Harriss was getting ready to cook breakfast for us. Again, I saw pineapple!! Haha...every meal we will have pineapple.

Breakfast was cooked by Mr Harriss and boy, Mr Harriss is a good cook as well...surprised, surprised! It was our last meal at Bario. I had mixed feeling that morning, knowing I will be leaving Bario soon.

I did not want to leave Bario but I had to. After breakfast, both, Mr & Mrs Harriss brought us to their pineapple plantation by their Hilux. Another great journey. So lovely I have not enough vocabulary to describe them. On the way there, with the condition of the road and when I saw a man made bridge using logs, it brought me back to Pa Adang. I miss Pa Adang very much too, but sad I could not go this time.

Then, we were very quiet when we were on our way to the airport...if not them, me. I really wish I could stay a little longer in Bario. I miss Bario, I miss the homestay, I miss the food, I miss the fellowship we had among us and with Aunty Nancy. I miss the people there.

It was goodbye...but it will not be the first and the last. I will be back in Bario!!!

Unjokingly Old

2011-09-07T15:54:00.002+08:00

Happy Belated 8th Anniversary to me!

This is officially my 8th year in Miri and also in my vocation as an educator.

Although I am very sad that I could forget about some thing this important, but at least I finally remember it.

It's not about celebrating it on my own but every year, I would give God the glory and this year, I'm doing the same.

I give You, Father, all the glory for all these years that You were with me through thick and thin in this mission field and in this vocation. I will not be blinded by so many demands of other ministry and forgo this main calling of mine. I will forever hold on to this calling until it is all done and move on.

You have been faithful and Your goodness, there never seem to be an end to it.

To God be the glory!

You are the best!

Life of a Boat

2011-08-17T20:24:00.004+08:00

Recently, I had the privilege to be on a boat. It was such a different scenario altogether. No more surrounded by land but waters and boardwalk. Away from the hectic life where everyone seem to be rushing here and there.

It was such a peace to be on the boat, with the view of the ocean...ok...near the ocean. God was really good. The skies were extra lovely on the day we were there. Thanks to our dear friend.

At times, I still wish I would be somewhere far far away from the world around me, in the middle of an ocean where nothing you see except water and more water.

At times, I wish I am surrounded by my loved ones...just like a school of dolphins following me on a sailing journey.

At times, I wish I am never alone...the stars spreading across the skies...the moon shinning bright into the starry night.

At times, I wish to be comforted...like the comfort of a "house" in the boat...so cosy, so at home...so at peace.

At times, I wish I would not be absorbed into the rat race of life...sailing gracefully through the ocean.

At times, I wish I did not make the mistake I did...the lighthouse flashing its light to show it's getting near to the land.

At times, I wish I would not be writing nonsense here like now....sailing to who knows where, just because I have all the time and fuel in the world.

Life is always great...focusing on our next destination where we would parked our boat...and enjoy all over again...the beautiful scenery of a shipyard. The skies above and beyond...waters all around...till the next journey.

Minus the STORM!

Sweet, Sweet Josiah!

2011-06-23T18:49:00.005+08:00

This piece was written after I visited him for the 2nd time at HKL. It has been a year since that day...I still could not understand but that night, God gave me this...

Sweet, sweet Josiah...

Though your eyes were not fully opened,

yet it shows the love God is showering upon you.

Though your hands did not move,

yet it holds the promises of God.

Though you can't walk,

yet you walk the grace of God.

Though you are all wired up,

yet your heart beats the heart of God.

Though it has been a long time,

yet you tick the time of God.

Though we could not see you smile,

yet you smile the smile of angels.

Though you are pushed around,

yet you prove the faithfulness of God.

Though you never knew me,

yet you show me God.

Though you never know what future holds for you,

yet your fragile body prove of God's great future for each one of us.

Sweet, sweet Josiah...

I will never forget what you had taught me in your silence.

Sweet, sweet Josiah!

Lost Gained

2011-06-19T20:42:00.002+08:00

The lost years

Was something I do not want to remember

But at times I am reminded of it

Tears flow through the very inner most of my heart

The lost years

I will never forget

Because it was something that changed my life

And crushed my heart to pieces

The lost years

I must not forget

It was there to help me grow

Into who I am today

The lost years

Where I tasted His grace and mercy

Though I was not worthy of it

Yet He added love into the above

The lost years

Reminded me of who I was

Broken, filthy, bruised, helpless

But a hand stretched out to this me

The lost years

Was somehow gained

Because He made me appreciate who I am today

By giving me this second chance to live

The lost years

Must not be forgotten

It was who I was before that made me who I am today

Simply by Him who never gave up on me

The lost years

Was claimed back by Him

Through the blood that He shed

On that day He died on the cross

For YOU and for ME!

Sva Kom Mok Kampuchea!

2011-06-09T23:19:00.007+08:00

Welcome to Kampuchea!

I'm really happy to be back to this land that touched my heart. Being back to Toul Sleng Genocide Museum and Killing Fields for the 3rd time never tires my soul. I was sad and could never understand why and how can they be so cruel, and I still could not even until now, but this time, every single step, every single view, strengthen my heart to do all I could for the people of this land, knowing God's favour will rest upon this land, upon every hearts.

Clicking the most pictures in my 31 years of life (about 2000) is such an experience and though it tired out my fingers, hand and shoulder, I rejoiced with every opportunity I had to be able to capture almost every precious moment on this land, the Reading Bus, the children, the life, the older generation, the scenery, food and anything that I was in time to capture.

The children's faces is what I enjoyed capturing the most. Such lovely and sweet faces even though they were actually quite covered with dust. When I see the children, how could my heart not have any feelings? The future of Cambodia lies in them and the future starts now.

One way was through the Reading Bus! I'm almost all for Reading Bus anywhere in the world especially where poverty strikes. Oh, the unspeakable joy I had when I saw the book chest being opened during the launching right in front of all the children in the village, when the Reading Bus tuk tuk was ridden in...no words could I speak but I would say, "Smile speaks a million words too". At least for me at that very moment. I'm so glad to be able to play a small part in this Reading Bus in Cambodia.

My heart sank when I saw the Diamond Bridge where stempete happened last November while we were in Cambodia on medical mission. It brought back memories where people were so happy during the afternoon when we were at the water front but the tragedy happened in the night, while we were celebrating Water Festival at the Methodist Bible School. Almost 400 people died, some missing and some injured. Memory of a mother who were waiting for her child to be found in the hospital stayed fresh in my mind. Never know what happened to her and her child. I was really silent during the Mekong River cruise that night, simply enjoying the breeze while remembering that very incident.

Shopping was always craziness for many but not me, especially this time. I bought more for others rather than me, myself and I. I think I had enough, ok...more than enough. I'm just simply happy to see them happy with all the stuff they bought.

Oh yes...before I forget. Remember Tay Naro? It was such a blessing, privilege to be able to be in his new house after the old house was burnt down. Listening to his testimony, I am so amazed by the goodness and faithfulness of God, and I'm humbled by such huge faith they have in God. Simple, down-to-earth, godly, gentle, quietly zealous...this is just few words to describe Ps. Tay Naro.

Cry no more, Killing Fields....

Cry no more, Toul Sleng prison....

The Lord, our God will bring victory upon this land. He will pour His grace and mercy...He will fill it up with love and peace....

Cry no more....

HOPE is coming...!

Kampuchea, you shall always be in my heart!

No, I will never forget you till death/Alzheimer do us part!

Grace & Mercy

2011-04-30T16:06:00.005+08:00

Living on regrets makes one sorrow.

Learning from regrets makes one grow.

So, I have been living on regrets which are making me sorrowful, BUT today, I shall write my regrets, make amendment to it, learn from it and move on, for the sake of my growth that I shall bring honour and glory unto Him.

I have been living with regrets since the day I shared during Plenary session for Young Teachers.

What happened?

I realised many things as I reflected on what came out of my mouth into the ears of others.

One... I was depending fully on my own ability, my own words, my own ideas...basically...all on my own strength.

Two... I was full of ego and pride. I spoke out of my own experiences of eight years as if it was all my own doing, being so experience and being so proud of it.

Three... I was self-glorifying myself with all the works I have done.

What was the cause?

One... I was not praying as how I should.

Two... I was doing too much, without a pause.

Three... I was not in a close relationship with Him all the time.

I regretted all that I've said, and I wish I could turn back time, do it all over again, but I could not, the damaged had been done. There is no turning back, except to make amendment right here and now. I frankly can't remember much the question posted to us but whatever I remember, I will amend it here.

Everything was actually by His grace. I realised I am able to do nothing without Him. I needed Him all the time whether I realised it or not. When I thought I could do everyone on my own, that's when I fall,

Having a Father who taught along with me was the greatest joy because I know when a situation is out of my control, I will be reminded to step back, and let God take the lead. It's not an easy thing to do when we are controlled by emotions and our hands and body works faster than our mind. Prayer does make all the difference.

Second, my students, they are God's gift to me that brings me much joy in my teaching as a vocation. Despite being faced with reality of this cruel world around us, having them around and before me, allows me to see God's love before me. I am strict and I do believe in discipline, but all done in the name of love. There is time for everything, there is time to be serious and there is time to be crazy.

TCF is God's gift to me to help me stay in my vocation as His instrument in my mission field, the school called SMK St Joseph, Miri. I can't deny it that I had a difficult time since the day I came into this school. I never knew the reason God put me in this school and all I could think of is, "Any other school is better than this school. I am going far far away from this school."

I survived the 8 years in this school with much tears, prayers, pain and being angry with everyone and everything because I could not take it any longer.

I was a TCF life member when I was in Form 6 but not until 2009 or was it 2010? can't remember but anyway, did God changed me from the inside out. He revealed His purpose to me, He let me see from a different perspective, He changed my heart, He spoke to me on many things.

Problems do not disappear, but I am still able to smile through it because I know He is a God. I am reminded again and again, this is the 2nd chance of life He had given me, and I will not waste it away. Who am I to complain when I do not deserve anything, but He had given me everything.

I am not perfect. I still make mistakes and I have my flaws, but it's again, His grace that forgave me. I am still learning and I will never stop learning because I am not perfect.

Conclusion... IT WAS ALL BY HIS GRACE & MERCY! And, by His grace and mercy, shall I go through my many more years in this teaching ministry, all for Him, all about Him, less of me and more of Him.

Amen!

Now, I am able to sleep and live (die) in peace, knowing I am not saying this amendment only to the limited ears of the conferees but to the borderless world.

Praise and glory be unto Him, who is ALL!

Amen!

Not Me but YOU!

2011-04-24T17:31:00.004+08:00

Today mark the most important day in history. Christ had won over death, the grave had been denied. He is risen from the death!

I'll be sharing about two most important thing that I've relearned today. Sermon by Bishop Hwa Yung. As I listened to him speak, I knew that all those could not be from him, it must be from the Holy Spirit. He prayed and meditate before he preach. He prepare no paper, no sermon notes with him, but simply bringing a Bible along with Him and I believe, filled by the Holy Spirit.

First....PRAY!!

Everything starts with prayer, continues with prayer and ends with prayer.

Prayer is the most crucial thing in the life of a Christian. It's more important than breathing itself. You will be spiritually dead when you stop praying.

Prayer is everything and everything is prayer. One just cannot live without prayer.

Prayer is the work, ministry is the gift.

Second....IT'S ALL THE WORK OF THE HOLY SPIRIT!!

We think we can do many things, we think with enough preparation, we can do well, we think we have all the experiences life could ever give us, we think we have the qualification to do what we have do, we think we are well-trained, well-equipped....etc.

BUT....

NO!

We can do nothing without the Holy Spirit and it was all the while the work of the Holy Spirit, not us!

Look at how revival start. It was not among the talented, among the rich, among the educated, among the pastors and bishops and missionaries...it was never among the ones we think revival would start.

Revival starts among the locals, among the simple people, among the uneducated, among those who had never thought God would use them as the instrument of a revival, among the poor...

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." 1 Corinthians 1:27

"But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you." John 16:7

Finally,

"I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." John 14:12

Pray, it's all about the work of the Holy Spirit and have faith in Him!

Today Is The Day!

2011-03-13T04:54:00.002+08:00

I always remind myself that, "Today is the day that the Lord hath made, and I will rejoice myself."

In that way, no matter what situation and circumstances that I have to face, I know that my Father is in control of everything. He holds the day of my life.

Today, is a little bit different. "Today is D day that the Lord hath made, I will surely rejoice and be glad in it!" Simply because this is the day, some years ago...hehe...not revealing my age here, that God had given me life.

Through this years, I had seen and tasted His goodness and faithfulness. Through the ups and downs, He was with me, helping me to see it through. Not just struggling through, but making sure that I passed through with excellence.

Today, as you can see me, I realised I am a product of His grace, mercy and love. To be able to live till today, I count myself so blessed to have Him in my life. If not, I don't even where I would be, frankly, I would have been dead years ago.

Today, I dedicate this day unto Him, giving Him all my glory and honour which I have received, because I know, I can do nothing without Him and He is the only one that deserves all the glory and honour and praise.

Father, thank you for this day and guide me as I journey through this life. For I desire to live a life of honour and glory unto You, because I am reminded, I owe You this very life of mine.

Happy Birthday to me!

Bulan Macku....

2011-03-06T09:39:00.004+08:00

Berjumpa lagi kita pada blogku yang sudah lamaku abaikan. Saya agak sibuk dan pada penghujung harinya, sudah berasa malas untuk menulis apa-apa di dalam blog ini.

Masa berlalu dengan begitu pantas. Tanpaku sedari, bulan tiga sudahpun hampir sampai pertengahannya. Bulan ini juga mengingat saya bahawa saya akan menjadi semakin tua...arghh...walaupun saya tidak berasa diriku tua tetapi, hakikat sebenarnya, saya memang semakin tua sama ada saya boleh menerimanya atau tidak.

Tidak ada banyak yang saya ingin tuliskan kali ini kerana jika saya berkata sepatah lagi, sudah tentu semua yang menyedihkan hatiku, yang mengecewakan...yang tidak ku sangka akan menjadi begini., tetapi saya percaya, jika saya boleh melihat semua perkara dari perspektif yang positif, sudah tentu semua perasaanku akan berubah menjadi positif, walaupun situasinya mungkin tidak akan berubah.

Kehidupan memang sentiasa penuh dengan kejutan, sesuatu yang tidak dirancang tetapi ianya terjadi. Saya ingin menjalani kehidupan yang penuh dengan kemenangan dalam Tuhan Yesus kerana itulah yang telah dilakukan oleh-Nya semasa di kayu salib, mati dan bangkit bagi memberi kemenangan kepada setiap umat-Nya...setiap anak-anak-Nya.

Hidup berdasarkan pada keimanan, dan bukan berdasarkan apa yang ditunjukkan oleh dunia ini. Hidup pasti akan lebih bermakna, berfokus.

It Hurts

2011-02-09T21:46:00.003+08:00

It hurts, yes...but it was not my fault, was it?

It hurts, yes...but there's nothing I can do to change what had happened, do I?

It hurts, yes...but people say time will heal itself, does it?

It hurts, yes...but life must go on.

It hurts, yes...but look at His grace and mercy showered down upon me.

It hurts, yes...but what is more hurting than to see my Lord Jesus on the cross...alone.

It hurts, yes...but know that God not only heals the sick but God can heal even the deepest wounds of the heart.

It hurts, yes...but He has given me love, joy and peace that overshadows all the hurts.

It hurts, yes...but others are hurting even more than me, that I should comfort them.

It hurts, yes...but I know it all happened for a purpose divine. What?

It hurts, yes...but it does not matter now.

It hurts, yes...but I prefer His comfort. =)

It hurts, yes...but it is not the ruler of my life.

It hurts, yes...and it hurts still...but when His face I see, all hurts gone!

The Year of Rabbit

2011-02-05T18:00:00.002+08:00

All3's Corner of Life wishes all dear readers

"Happy Chinese New Year!"

May this year brings you much love, joy and peace

that comes from Above!

Welcome to MMXI !

2011-01-01T17:54:00.007+08:00

Blessed New Year 2011!

It's too soon for me to actually post. Anyway, I will be starting my countdown soon.

Maybe I'll start the post today by looking at my Resolution 2010.

2010 Resolution

1. Mission trip to Cambodia - Accomplished, I went there TWICE!
2. Mission trip to Belaga/Kapit/Balingian/Baa Adang - Accomplished, I went to Balingian
3. Finish reading the whole Bible - Not accomplish. Did not even finish Genesis, real bad.
4. Faithfully doing my devotion time...not more than 1 month of missing in no action - Not accomplish, I think I missed more than 3 months.
5. Pray everyday with no exception of missing even a day - Not accomplish. I did missed a few days. I'm talking about intercession.
6. Fast at least the total of 2 months - Not accomplish. I fasted for roughly total of only one month plus.
7. Buy house...haha - Not accomplish. Houses cost more than gold nowadays. Crazy people simply hiking up the prices. I'll just live in a tent in no man's land.
8. Take bike licence - Not accomplish. Not anywhere near it either.
9. Be softer, practice gentleness, control anger, practice humility and humbleness, be an optimist. Failed.
10. Exercise everyday...with not more than a month of skipping...oklah...simple word...lose weight...at least 5 kgs. Not accomplish. I only lost 4 kg the most but my ending weight is not so satisfactory.

Resolution 2011

1. Finish reading the whole Bible.

2. Start on my intercession session, at least 3 times a month.

3. Lose weight/ maintain weight of at least 5kg.

4. Attend 2 local mission trip.

5. Attend 1 international mission trip.

6. Get my drum lesson moving.

I have nothing much to achieve this year. It's a year or "pause", but with the little that I wrote, I really hope I am able to achieve it all.

Let's start this new year with a positive attitude, with a humble heart, with a focus mind, willing hands, quick ears and slow mouth, and all the rest giving glory unto Him.

May this year be a year of more learning...more humble...more love and joy.

Let's run the race... =)

Goodbye 2010!

2010-12-31T13:50:00.007+08:00

It is the end of another year and almost the starting of another year.

It's has been going on like this year after year but today, I realised one thing....I am getting older and I will continue to get older, and people around me are getting older as well.

Things and people will never remain the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. People will come and go in life, things will appear and disappear.

As I move on with life each day, I find myself having less zeal to write either on this blog or my diary. I am still wondering why. Maybe I could not find any purpose of writing post after post, pages after pages. What use does it have? But when I think about it, this blog and diary is not for the "now" but it is rather for the "next time". I might not be able to read it again, but someone else in the next generation might read it and what for? Hehe...just for fun, although I hope they could learn something from my life, both the good and the not-so-good.

Anyway, like any other year, I must end each year with praises unto my Father, because He deserves it all.

I thank Father for the privilege of going on missions. Although I did not achieved my resolution, but He allowed me to build this heart for Cambodia. The honour of being able to go on 2 mission trips to Cambodia is something I will not take for granted. I was able to attend Balingian mission and also mission to SMK Suai. The chance to work with different brothers and sisters from different churches also widens my experience and relationship. It was a good time of fun and fellowship in the name of Christ.

I thank Father for Reading Bus. It was a new thing for me but I am very touched by the very fact how this Reading Bus began and I am grateful I could be a small little part of it, that I believe God will make it into something big part of His plan.

I thank Father for the trip from Miri-Sipitang-Kundasang-Sandakan. It was a trip that we never planned in advance and never was it on my mind too but it happened. What was greater, we drove all the way there and back in my faithful little Myvi. It was a "faith trip" because we went there without making any advance booking of hotels despite it was a school holiday, the peak season and God was so faithful in providing for us, guiding and protecting us all the way. It was a unforgettable experience of my lifetime.

I thank Father for being able to visit Singapore. My eyes were opened and now, I really appreciate being in Malaysia, more specific, in Miri. Even though everything was so systematic and advance over there, but I personally find that people are still very aimless and selfish. Their aim is only work and money. They couldn't care about others or rather they do not have the time to care about others because they need to "move" in order to live. What a pity life they have there. Normal people seem to be living in pigeon holes. It's a whole concrete jungle in kiasu land. They are good but I don't fancy them.

I thank Father for all my loved ones whom He had so well taken care of. For my mom, who are still strong and healthy, and living her life to the fullest, always protected, always bless. For my ibu, who were able to serve Him energetically and faithfully throughout the year through the joy that He had upon her, because "The joy of the Lord shall be her strength". For my brother, who always finds the joy in being with children, for knowing and providing for ALL his needs.

I thank Father for all my friends and colleagues who transfered away. For Pearly, who was my faithful companion to church and prayer meetings. For Ramlee, whom I had work with for a little bit more than 7 years through the ups and downs of our special education. For Jaliyah, who was my close friend and colleague, whom I respect for her unselfishness in sharing knowledge, her diligence and being such a wonderful friend to me. For Fazilah, who always gets us into panic mood when actually there was nothing to panic about...a frank person too.

I thank Father for all my friends and colleagues who are still here with me in Miri and elsewhere around the globe. Without friends, we are are one lonely alien in this planet called Earth.

Last but not least, I thank Father for this life I am living now. It's all beating and moving by His grace and mercy and His hands that heals the wound.

I am able to *SMILE* even more today because I know, He is my Father!

To Him be the glory! :)

Oh Preah Kun!

2010-12-09T13:02:00.010+08:00

Countdown

Done with Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)...the best mission trip... =)

22 days left for 2010

Sou Sdey!

I was back from Cambodia some time like a week ago. It was the best mission trip I had so far. The team members were excellent. Everyone were able to work in unity although we came from 5 different churches. Wow...I am amazed at how God worked through us.

the waterfront @Phnom Penh

Although we faced a few challenges through the ways, God proved Himself real by not only seeing us through it but giving us the every opportunity that will never come twice.

the team members

I've learned one very interesting fact, truth, lesson, experience or whatever you want to call it..."Play first, work later" really worked well when we have to work together with each other whom we never met before or worked together with. We started our mission this time with shopping time! It was a great time of bonding, of getting to know each other... And when we worked, it was like as if we have known each other for ages. Hmm...I shall practice this one day when I get to lead team on a mission...hehe...

It was a sad news too when we heard about the stampede incident when we had been there in the afternoon, and the incident happened in the night, on the same day. We always thought that the devil must be very unhappy with our presence there. This was not, according to one of our team member, the first time such thing happened when mission team were at some places. Through this, I saw the need to even move faster in reaching to the unreached. "They" are working hard, we, Christian need to work even harder. There is really no time time left. Look at how many lives that were taken away, that still do not know the true and living God? Look at how many that were gone, who did not know what Lord Jesus had done for them?

visit to the hospital - stampede victims

Life is indeed so fragile...and time is surely not waiting for anyone. If we do not wake up from our slumber, we will wake up one day and realised that "It is all too late..". Anyway, by His will, we had the privilege to visit and pray for the victims in the hospital. Not many of them were left in the hospital by the time we came out from the province but we waste no opportunity. It was a good experience no money can buy. I am thankful.

entrance into Angkor Thom

Thom Behkeng - watching sunset

the Elephent Terrance @ Angkor Thom

Apart from all above, "All work and no play makes Jack and Jill dull human", we went on holiday to Siem Reap. Although I had just been there few months ago but I gained more info and more experience. Siem Reap is a small city, more peaceful than the crazy busy Phnom Penh...haha but things are more expensive in Siem Reap. I've learned one thing, in Cambodia, you must bargain for almost EVERYTHING....I did not know I can even bargain for the tuk-tuk...haha. Cool...I'm learning the skill of bargaining but I learned to bless the people of Cambodia too. Don't be so super duper Bargain Queen/King until everything single cent also we swallow.

the sunset at Behkeng Hill...I wish I was not afraid of height & had a better quality camera..

Last but not least, I'm beginning to love Cambodia more and more each time I go there. This trip, my 4th trip, I suddenly felt so good to be back and now, I am really missing that land very much. Waiting to go back there in June next year and by His will, end of next year too...haha...I'm loving it.

Suo Sdey, Kampuchea! Again...

2010-11-19T17:12:00.005+08:00

Countdown

0 day to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

41 days left for 2010

It's Cambodia once again!!!

I'm not excited or maybe I'm too anxious to be excited??

Maybe I do not have my own circle of friends that I'm close to. This one is a challenging one with not really knowing what to do and everyone is speaking in Mandarin. My mandarin is only "cukup makan" but not for anything more than that but thank God, I managed to go through 2 meetings in mandarin and writing down the minutes in English...hehe...His help. I could not have done it on my own.

It's 5:18pm and I've yet to really pack my things yet. I hate doing things last minute but I guess that's who I am, the last minute person. I must break that habit of doing things the last minute.

So, do continue to pray for us as we enter into the Kingdom of Kampuchea...the land of spiritual warfare. I still believe very much that this is His work and we are His vessels. He will do what He wants done. In everything, to Him be the glory!

Chow friends...I seriously need to pack NOW!

Farewell My Friends

2010-11-16T21:44:00.005+08:00

Countdown

3 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

45 days left for 2010

It's the season of the year once again...the news where some people are waiting for.

"Permohonan perpindahan anda diluluskan..."

It created a smile on their faces when they received such an answer and this year, I have a different reaction.

Simply because in just a year time, 3 of my colleagues from Special Education got transfered and they are all very dear to me.

When I arrived Miri in 2003, Cikgu Ramlee was one of my colleagues. Then when our other colleagues left, we were both left to manage the whole special education without much knowledge and experience. We went through all the hardship together to what it becomes today. Who knows the struggles we went through except the 2 of us.

Finally, after almost 12 years of service in this school and 7 years working with him, he will be transferring. Through the good and bad times, we made it through and all will be memories to cherish.

Thank you for your leadership, your servant-hood and your handy skills in making the whole place usable.

I will surely miss him and I wish him all the best in his new work place, a whole new environment ... and wishing him and his family, all the best in their new life in Kuching. May God's blessing be upon you and family.

Cikgu Jaliyah is someone I came to forge a close friendship with. She is one lady whom I really respect and appreciate for her unselfishness in sharing all the knowledge she knows. She really helps us a lot in strengthening our special education. Some sees it as "showing off" but I saw it as something new to learn...because I was yearning to REALLY know what is this special education all about and its whole management thing.

She, getting transferred is such a great loss to us but we know that we need to learn to be independent in order to grow. I particularly felt that loss...of knowledge, especially of friendship so close to heart.

Thank you for sharing so much of your knowledge to me and us. It means a lot to us and especially to me.

I will miss her too, very much and I wish her all the best in her new work place, in not such a new environment (because she's back to her hometown). God bless you and your family too. I will surely cherish all memories with you and hope that one day, we shall meet again in Peninsular Malaysia.

Finally, Cikgu Fazilah who transferred in a sudden somewhere in September, I think. Thank you too for all that you have done...memories will be cherished too. When you went away, the cheekiness was lost in the whole place. Kitchen stopped smelling of food too, ok, maybe less smoky. I miss you too and like Cikgu Jaliyah, hope to meet you in Peninsular Malaysia too, one fine day.

Life goes on!

One day, it shall my turn...hehe... *waiting*

Broken Heart

2010-11-06T18:22:00.003+08:00

Countdown

13 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

55 days left for 2010

It broke my heart today...but what can I do?

I am doing my best and I realised today, that my best was not good.

It really broke my heart.

I was on my way back from church.

One group of kids, about the age of 10-12 years old.

Half of them were smoking cigarettes.

Woe unto those who created cigarettes.

What can I do?

It really broke my heart.

They are just kids.

Blessed Belated 2nd Anniversary to all3's Corner of Life

2010-10-29T17:28:00.004+08:00

Countdown

21 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

63 days left for 2010

I'm so into my own life and other people's life, that I almost forget about the anniversary of my corner.

This blog has been part of my life here on earth. Through many ups and downs of it, I just have no heart to get rid of it. I've tried once to stay away from blogging due to some misunderstanding caused, and it lasted only a month, with so much temptation in between.

Even until now, I have no ultimate answer as to "Why do I blog?". I really can't give anyone an answer to it but if you really want an answer, it' simply because I would love to share some part of my thoughts and life with the world...hehe. What you get here is just PART of it.

I'm happy when I get to write even though my English sucks. Do I really care? Yeah, I do but another part of me says, "Who cares?!" as long as you understand, I understand...communication achieved. I find that it's ok to make mistakes, we are not perfect people after all, especially me.

All my hope and prayers is, this blog shall be a blessing to others reading it, and most of all, it shall forever bring glory and honour unto Him. I owe Him everything.

May this corner be a place of memory of me that will be forever here, even after I am gone from this world. Good and not-so-good, it shall be remembered.

Blessed 2nd Anniversary...of yeah...Belated to all3's Corner of Life!!

Apa Tu?

2010-10-21T19:00:00.002+08:00

Countdown

Done with PTK (last chance)...susah...susah...

29 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

71 days left for 2010

Oh no! Only left 29 days before the Cambodia medical mission?? Arghh...I've yet to do my job. By hook or by crook, I must finish it by this weekend. Hehe...this is call "procrastination". Bad...really bad. I need someone to really push me and give me strict deadline.

++++++++++++

I've been thinking. Moving to a new place either to a new working place, or state or school or country or anywhere new, it's not going to be easy for some, maybe most people. I could feel the stress some people faced. Being in their shoes, I think I would be really stress too. Why not, especially after staying put in a place for such a long time. Hmm...how would I take it in the new school when I move in 2 years time? I wonder, but there's only one thing I can do, trust in Him.

Might not be easy the first few months, but want it or not, for the sake of the God and the children, mission must go on. Call it "perseverance". Being in this school without much proper knowledge, I'm quite afraid to go to a good school because being a very passive person, I don't like to hear or "hear" this, "Cikgu dah lama bekerja, masih tak tahu apa-apa lagi?". Aiyoh, so memalukan, but it's not all my fault. I've tried to learn many things with the limited resources we get from Kuching or even the kementerian. How to know anything when kita dianaktirikan?

Well, that's not the issue...the issue is aiyoh, very stress. hehehe...

We'll just see what happen to me in 2 years time..haha...I'm curious too!

++++++++++++

When can I go to New Zealand ? Or England? Or America?

I've been dreaming it for ages...this is what I don't like because this is the time I'm being not content.

Only wishing I had more $....haha...but seriously...if I don't get to go before I leave this earth, it's fine with me.

It's just a wish...that have the possibility of anything...hehe...

Enough of non-sense.

Only to look forward to the next session of Reading Bus!!!!

A Feast

2010-10-17T21:27:00.005+08:00

Countdown

Done with PTK (last chance)...susah...susah...

33 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

75 days left for 2010

Feasting time with friends today.

Time is running fast. I realised, there is roughly a month left before the school year finishes for year 2010 and roughly two and a half month left before year 2010 finishes.

The highlight dish : Bought by me, "killed" by Elaine, cooked by Aminah's mom, eaten by ALL.

Bought this crab at RM18 per kg @E-mart.

'Siput sedut' bought from E-mart at RM3 per packet

I'm done with my last PTK exam and the last for all civil servants, and I wonder what non-sense will they come up with. *sigh* Just wait and see. Who cares? I've done my best and no matter what, I'm simply doing it for His glory and honour.

Reading Bus : Me with Jaina..she's quite good, I let her read Lady Bird series 12b.

Next, Reading Bus!! Second session was better than the first session because we already knew what we needed to do and right after our PTK exam, we zoomed to Tudan for Reading Bus. Hehe...see how semangat we are with Reading Bus. It was marvelous and I bet everyone had fun, the children and the volunteers. I was so into it, that I did not feel hungry despite eating only half bun, a few pieces of biscuits and some milk since morning till evening....but not until the whole session ended...oh no...my head is throbbing, giving me clue that I need food...haha...off we went to Double Star. It was a good fellowship as well with my friends who went to Reading Bus as well.

This kid is cute...look at the way he says the word 'I'...hehe

I wished I am able to finish the whole 6 sessions but *sigh*, I could not as I'll be back in my hometown. So sad...but it's ok, there will more chances next year, I hope, by His will. Now, I know how fun it is to be part of Reading Bus. I'm loving it! (Not McDonald's..hehe) Looking forward to more next year and years to come.

Food and more food...a feast.

PS: Source of photo of Reading Bus, FB of Wendy Tiong...thank you!

The Fun of 10.10.10

2010-10-10T13:52:00.005+08:00

Countdown

5 days to PTK (last chance)

40 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

82 days left for 2010

Opening ceremony of Gereja Methodist Tudan (GMT)

In just 12 days, many things had happened. Time passes by real fast that I did not have the time to sit down and ponder on all the things and events and people that passed through my life.

Youth and children in choir during the opening of GMT

Finally, I'll be taking my PTK again in 5 days time and I'm not in the crazy mood to study anymore, like I once used to do. Why? Because I realised that EVERYTHING is in the hands of God.

Birthday girls and boy of Small Group cum house warming

My intention was really wrong...I was almost dying to get 4 4 for my PTK...and God showed me how in control is He in my life. Now, I know that I do it because I need to honour Him and glorify HIm in all that I do, that include my PTK exam too. He comes 1st and everything else, No. 2.

AND...

FINALLY....

I GOT IT....

He doesn't want just my service, BUT what He wanted most from me, is simply ME!

He doesn't want just your service, BUT what He wanted most from us, is simply US!

Baked beef pasta...by me :)

I've been doing and doing and doing and thinking I was in the right track because...yeah...I was serving Him in so many ministries, I could not go wrong...BUT....I was all the while very very wrong. It's not how MANY ministries, it's how MUCH time I spent with Him.

Now, I really fully understand the saying, "Prayer is the WORK, ministry is His GIFT".

Food and more food...

We believe in an Almighty God...the Maker of Heaven and Earth. In ministry, He does not even need us in order to get what He wants done, He can do it all by Himself....BUT...with His children, that is us...He does not force us to spend time with Him but how His heart longs for us to come to Him and spend quality time with Him. This is something we need to be willing to do...because our Father does not force Himself on us, He gives us choice.

Nothing more to be said...I know my priority in life....

I know what it means to live...

I'm so happy to finally know the truth of it all....

Oh, surely God is in control of ALL situation...surrender all unto Him, set your priority right and watch His blessing in your life...

Missed Him...you shall watch your blessing passed by....

Be careful....be on guard...be alert....

My "kacang".... the kerang masak kicap...by me :)

Thank You!

2010-09-28T16:04:00.003+08:00

Countdown

52 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

94 days left for 2010

"Be thankful in all circumstances,

for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (New Living Translation)

I am learning this. No matter how bad a situation may seems to be or how illogical for our brain...give thanks, because we've got to walk our talk when we say that God is in control of all situation. In reality, He is in control of ALL situation.

Instead of asking "Why?" , ask "What....?"

Whatever that happened, already happened and you can't turn back time.

It's all by His will that it happens and there be a reason for everything that happens.

Learn from it...

Be thankful...for everything and in everything.... =)

Suo Sdey, Kampuchea!

2010-09-22T20:53:00.004+08:00

Countdown

Done with Cambodia (TCF)...it was more than Grreeeaatttt!!

58 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

100 days left 4 me to meet the person

Now let's talk a bit about Cambodia.

It was all about 1st TCF Cambodia Conference with a total of 41 conferees attended. Though there were quite many of us from TCF Malaysia but it does not feel or look like many. I don't really know where to start and how to actually share this trip but I do have many things to thank God for, for this whole Cambodia trip.

Nowadays, I do not really get over excited or anxious over any of this mission trips be it local or oversea. One reason because I think we've prayed enough and I now know that every trip is a God-trip. Meaning, it's nothing about us and it's everything about Him. He will get done what He wants done. I do what I can and needed to do, just be present and pray...pray...pray. I consider all done. Even if it does not, He has a purpose for it and all shall be ok one way or another. Can I call this a total surrender?

Thank God 1st and foremost, His provision. He provided lots of stuff for us to bring there. We are so blessed to be able to bring blessing to them. He is indeed Jehovah Jireh.

Thank God for the safe journeys and good health (no one got sick when we were in Cambodia). Everyone was healthy and energetic till the very last day.

Thank God for safe entry into Cambodia and out of Cambodia especially when through the custom. In total, we only "lost" one old conference bag and 2 bar of soap. Wonderful!

Thank God for the wonderful weather. It was not as hot as last year and there were not many insects as last year too. I had wonderful, blissful and peaceful sleep every night without needing to wake in the middle of the night to go to toilet.

Thank God for the clean water we had this time round. Everything was so perfect.

Thank God for each and everyone of the team member who played their role so so very very well. Your sharing touched me instead. I am humbled.

Thank God for all the delicious food we had from the beginning to the end especially the coffee...oh no!! I'm almost addicted to coffee. Nooo..!!!

Thank God for listening to all our prayers...You've answered each and everyone of them, Lord. You did not say "No" to any single one of them.

Thank you, Lord for this privilege to be among the "giants" of TCF Malaysia....saya budak (not so budak already..hehe..) baru belajar, kalau silap tolong tunjukkan.

Thank God for the chance to finally be at Angkor Wat! ...hehe...Finally, I was there...nothing much but since everyone is talking about it. Now, I can talk about it too....oh yeah...minus the sunset. We missed that. Hehe..it's ok. I'll be going again...hehe...

Lord, thank You for this kingdom of Cambodia...

And thank you, Lord, for the next chance to be in this land....

Here I come again, Kampuchea!!

Reading Bus is in Miri!!

2010-09-19T17:24:00.007+08:00

Countdown

Done with Cambodia (TCF)...it was more than Grreeeaatttt!!

61 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

103 days left 4 me to meet the person

The Reading Bus

Suo sdey!

It's here, it's finally here!!!

Today we launched the Reading Bus at Gereja Methodist Tudan. I am as excited as the leader, Uncle Richard. I'm really looking forward to the 1st session this early October.

The Reading Bus which runs Alpha Village, and it's all a community project of Bethany Ministries..hehe...I'm just writing down what's written on the vehicle...real cool!

Boy oh boy! I really hope this is the not the feeling of 'new broom sweeps clean'. Though I know I will not be able to be involved from the beginning to the end of it but as many as I could get involve in, I would.

Simply beautiful...

Some people were not very happy with this decision of mine for taking up Reading Bus because in order for me to take up Reading Bus, I need to let go a few ministries. I know my limit and I know where my heart is, and I know that if God says no, I would not be able to go any further in this ministry.

Thank you very much, Ps Cheli and everyone else, for The Reading Bus no.2..

See the green box inside?

There's where some of the books will be...it's really lovely...

Talking about the many ministries, needs are everywhere, and I can't be everywhere. Am I making the right choice or am I following too much of my own desires? But, teaching, that's what I love to do..what more...it's English, something which I am losing out each day because no one really speak English here. Next, it's reading....I'm quite good at it...hehe...not that I want to show off but between reading and writing, I'm better of reading. I love every bit of it.

Last but not least...when I saw this...in Miri...wow...I'm so proud of it.

TCF - Teachers' Christian Fellowship...

Teachers Changing Future

Whatever it is or whatever people want to say....I am still looking forward to it. *grin* :D

I'm happy with this decision I have made. I'm sticking to it.

I'm Back!!!

2010-09-18T18:27:00.003+08:00

Countdown

Done with Cambodia (TCF)...it was more than Grreeeaatttt!!

62 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

104 days left 4 me to meet the person

Suo sdey!

I'm finally back in my Corner of Life...hehe...

There was just too many things to do especially with moving house and getting ready for Cambodia mission by TCF and also a little by GMC. Until now I have yet to really get some real rest. I was tired and sick, today, I am still tired and not feeling too well, but by His grace, I am still able to move on with life...hehe...

I was over excited today when pastor's wife told me the "Reading Bus" is here (in the church), parked at the side of the church...there he sits, No. 2. Beautiful and what excites me more was....the colourful box....it's inside the "bus"....even more beautiful. I am really looking forward to the start of this reading bus even though I missed 2 of the session by Ps Cheli. There must be some reason why God made it happened...hmm....wonder why.

Anyway, I wish I could drive the "bus" but I do not know how to drive one. It's ok. I'll just be the follower of the "bus". Oh yeah, by the way, for you who do not know, it's actually not a bus. It's actually just a 4WD vehicle...hehe...but it's real cool.

Tomorrow will be the opening ceremony of the "Reading Bus" at Tudan Methodist Church. Should I be there? Hmm...I must be there...I'm just so syok sendiri.

Today, I'm not sharing about the Cambodia trip...yet...I'll save it for another time...because I need to get ready for my next trip to Cambodia. Work starts now!

But...Cambodia mission by TCF was really good. God had been working right before everything started and I was actually quite confident that He will work wonderfully throughout the whole conference. He did and I am impressed.

To Him be the glory!

Coffee or Tea ?

2010-08-21T20:01:00.004+08:00

Countdown

13 days to Cambodia (TCF)

87 days to Cambodia Medical Mission (GMC)

129 days left 4 me to meet the person

Suo Sdey, everyone!

Everyday is a special day because everyday is THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAD MADE, I will surely rejoice and be glad in it! Hehe...

Well, surely there are certain days when you just have no mood to rejoice and be glad, but when that happen, remember....SURRENDER EVERYTHING UNTO HIM... because HE IS IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING.

We are serving and worshiping a MIGHTY GOD....not simply any gods. He is the MAKER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH, RULER OF THE WHOLE UNIVERSE, THE ALMIGHTY, THE AWESOME ONE, KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS!

Tell me then, is there anything impossible for Him? HE IS THE GOD OF THE IMPOSSIBLE!

When you learn to look at the bright side of situations, everything will indeed be bright.

When you learn to look at the positive side of things, everything will be positive.

Why stay in the "dark" when you have the switch to on the "light"?

You are life and life is you!

But, remember, life belongs to God...you are responsible and answerable to Him one day on how you have live the life He had entrusted you with....on Earth.

Life is great and so it shall be....even though there are people out there who just can't stand me living a great life. Thus, tried and are still trying to make life miserable for me. I will not fall into the S.A. Tan's trap....by His grace and mercy.

I am not afraid because I know who is always with me and simply because I owe every bit of my life and every beat of my heart unto Him who gave me 2nd chance.

I am still so thankful and grateful unto Him!

To Him be the glory!

My work of art...I did not win but I love my colouring technics...

hehe...call myself "syok sendiri"... and always "lain daripada lain"..

That's me...unique and weird...haha